Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Big Sisters!

Yesterday was the first day for Emily and Blair to spend the whole day at day care.  We have to pack a lunch each day.  Randy and I spent part of our Sunday evening getting their lunches ready.  I have an igloo cooler and thought it would be perfect to pack both lunches in. WRONG!

We packed two bags of Blair's favorite Bar-B-Q chips, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, two yogurts, two Ziploc bags of cucumbers (they both love cucumbers), two pieces of homemade cake, and two large bottles of water.  We were so pleased with our well thought out lunches.  They would really enjoy what we had packed.

When I went to picked them up, I was met by Blair.  He had a very stern look on his face.  I knew things were just not right in his world.

Grandmother:   Hey guys. You ready to go?

Blair:   Grandma, I need to tell you something important. Emily gave my BAR-B-Q Chips away, and I really wanted them Bad!

Tears are now streaming down his face and he is not going to be consoled.  He is downright, outright, infuriated by the blatant  injustice that has befallen him at the hands of his now ‘Traitor’ of a sister.

Grandmother:   Blair we can discuses this in the car? Okay?

Blair:  No Grandma.  You don't understand.  She gave my BAR-B-Q Chips away to that girl.

Grandmother:   Okay Blair.  I do understand, but we will talk about this in the car!

Tears are still flowing and his look that could kill is directed at his sister.  We get in the car.  Blair is now ready to let loose on his sister.

Blair:  You gave my BAR-B-Q chips to that girl and I wanted them. You are mean!

Grandmother:  Emily, did you do that?

Emily:    Yes.

Grandmother:  Why did you to that to him Emmy?

Emily:  Well grandma, that girl gave me something and I had to give her something to replace it.

Blair:   MY CHIPS !

Grandmother:   Why didn't you give her your chips?

Emily:   Because I wanted them. I was hungry!

Grandmother:  Emily, you know that was wrong.  Blair loves those chips and you should not have given them away.

Emily:  Well Grandma, he had cucumbers.  He should have ate them!

Blair:   I wanted my chips and you gave them away.

Tears! Tears! and more Tears!

Grandmother: Emily don't  you ever do that again.  You give you own stuff away. Not your brothers.

Emily:  Okay.

I can hear Blair sniffling in the back seat.  I think things are going to get a little calmer now. NOT!  All of a sudden the tears are back in full force as Blair has another flash back of the day.

Blair:  Grandma, she ate all my yogurt too! She ate all my stuff.  She is so mean.  I hate her!

Grandmother:  No, you do not hate her. Emily, did you do that?

Emily:  Yes, Grandma.  I was hungry and you know I love that yogurt.

Blair:  I love it too, Emily. You are so stupid.

Grandmother:  Blair, no name calling.  Emily you should not have ate his stuff.  How would you feel it that had been done to you?

Emily:    I wouldn't care.  He should have ate his cucumbers!

What a dilemma!  We can no longer use one box for their lunches.   One of them has papaw's two stomachs, and the other will starve if left to the mercy of the other.  Needless to say after all was said and done, they were both laughing and playing in the back seat as though nothing had ever happened.

Grandmother Jeff

Sunday, June 12, 2011

A Worried Man

Dad didn’t seem a bit worried when he let Michelle cut his hair at Easter…



But now it sounds like he is a worried man. 

He was telling me a new fellow moved into the assisted living center recently.  One morning this week this new fellow came over to Mom and Dad’s table as they were eating.  Dad says he sat down at their table and, after looking them both over, he turned to Dad and said, “Sir, I do believe your wife might be the prettiest woman I have ever seen.”

Then, before Dad could come back with a good wisecrack, the fellow said something that really has Dad worried.  He looked Dad right in the eye and asked, “Are you in good health, Sir?”

Thursday, June 9, 2011

(Mal)Practice Makes Perfect


Apparently Luci’s tests on Wednesday went well.  I hear her doctors have some new equipment from Milton Bradley Medical Supplies that allows them to practice Luci’s procedure before she even arrives at the hospital.




Isn’t it amazing what doctors can do these days!

Wait a minute, should she have an Adam’s Apple?  Is this the correct practice equipment?  I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about though. 

Movie Possibilities

Hollywood is advertising a new movie called “Bad Teacher” starring Cameron Diaz…

Wake me when class is over.

I don’t know but it could be the story of a teacher who was featured on local TV recently…

Veronica Melton

I’m pretty sure it isn’t based on another teacher we are familiar with…



THAT movie would have to be called ‘The HANGOVER III”.

Monday, June 6, 2011

JEFFERY HEN - FOUR BIG SURPRISES IN FOUR DAYS?

While Chuck was upon his henhouse crowing the hatching of Jeannie Hen's egg, every chicken around rushed to see the little chick in wonderment.  Only a few could get into the henhouse at a time so Jeannie Hen came to the door with the chick. She stood the chick in the doorway and kept her wings around it to make sure it didn't fall out the opening.

All of the hens looked at the chick and through he was very nice looking. "What is it." said one of the hens.

Jeannie Hen said, "A boy."

“What's his name?” shouted another hen.

Jeanie Hen said, "Matthew Wesley Squawker, but we’re going to call him Weasel."

Jeffery Hen looked at the chick and couldn't tell anything different about him, he looked just like all of the other chicks.  She wondered why his egg had been brown.



The next morning Sandra Hay's husband broke the morning silence with the announcement of the laying of an egg. As usual all of the hens went to look at it. Jeffery Hen was in wonderment again. The egg was pure white, but the egg shell Sandra Hay had eaten was brown.

Jeffery Hen next  went over to Patricia Hen's henhouse and when she got there Patricia was moaning and groaning.  Patricia Hen seems like she can't get her egg out of herself.  Jeffery Hen went to look for her husband, when she found him she told him that Patricia Hen is having a hard time laying her egg.  They both went back to check on her. Jeffery Hen waited outside; she got it on her mind that maybe she needs some water.  She went to the watering hole and brought back some water in a shell she found close by.

Patricia Hen's husband took the shell from her and handed it to Patricia Hen. She drank the water very fast and wanted more. He returned the empty shell back to Jeffery Hen and told her to get some more.  She went as fast as she could to get her some more and came back. This time she was told Patricia Hen had enough and was trying to go to sleep.



On her way back home Jeffery Hen returned to the watering hole and drank some water, she also saw some grit and decided to have a taste.

The next morning Patricia Hen's husband woke everyone up with the announcement of another egg.  Jeffery Hen went over to look at the egg along with some other hens. Each hen went into the henhouse one at a time. When it came her turn she noticed the egg was pure white  not brown. Jeffery Hen didn't know why since the eggshell Patricia Hen had eaten was brown.

Patricia Hen said she had laid the egg very early that morning and quick as it turned daylight her husband had announced it.



That night Panda and Crystal Fawn were on the roasting rod, talking about how they miss their daddy and brother.  Jeffery Hen tried to roost in between them. 

It came daylight and Henry was up in the redwood tree crowing.  All got out of the henhouse and went to the picking ground to eat. Jeffery Hen told the other hens that she didn't sleep well last night.

She asked Vicki Hen and Henrietta if they didn't care to keep an eye on her chicks. Jeffery Hen got into the henhouse but she didn't feel like roosting, she wanted to lay in the nest.

When it did came time to go to roost Panda and Crystal Fawn entered the henhouse. Jeffery Hen got up out of her nest and felt something very small come out of her and she also felt it hitting her leg.  She looked back at her nest and it was so dark she couldn't see what it could be.