My Preschool class would like to thank Easter Meaner for all the wonderful gifts and baskets she donated to the class this year. We have enough eggs to circumnavigate the globe at least 1 time.
The good part is...the more eggs they have to hunt the busier it will keep them!
Thanks again, your Preschool teaching sister, Michelle
This March 20th is Mother's 83rd birthday! Would you believe somewhere around St. Patrick's Day and her birthday, Michelle will be exactly one-half her age.
I remember when Mother was expecting her, that was the longest, slowest period of time I have ever had. I thought for sure she was never going to have her.
I was sleeping on the couch when her and Dad got out of bed and when out the door. I was awake and was wondering if the baby is going to be here soon. It was a Saturday, no school that day.
We kept waiting all day for Mrs. Stapleton to come over and tell us. She was out in the road when we asked her. She said, "Gertrude had a little girl."
We said, "We wanted a boy, but I guess we will have to satisfied with a girl." I remember I would ask Mother what was Pumpkin doing every once in a while and she would say nothing. I remember I said, "Ah, you're having a girl."
Junice's family went down there to see her before we did. At church the next day we ask about the baby, cause we haven't seen it yet. That afternoon Dad took us down to see her. We had to sneak Jeffery in to see her.
I remember it was raining the day Mother came home from the hospital. Lynn Coleman came down just before she got home. When she got home, Lucille took the umbrella out to the car. Mother handed her the baby. All of that waiting finally came to an end.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER Thank you for the baby! |
Grandma Stalker Photos |
It was almost the end of the day, Jeffery Hen was outside the hen house talking with Henriette and Vicki Hen while Henry and Roo were entertaining the triplets, Bear and Fon. Crystal Fawn, Panda and Fonda were playing together in the picking ground.
A rooster from far off got up on his hen house and started to crow. Panda heard him, but none of the others did. Panda said, "Mom, did you hear that crowing?"
Jeffery Hen said, "No, Panda I didn't."
Vicki Hen said, "Just to come down to just thinking about it, isn't it time for that young hen that laid the small egg ready to hatch?"
Henriette said, "Let's get real quiet and see if we can hear him crowing."
Jeffery Hen said, "Quiet everyone!"
While they were all standing there, so quiet that you can hear a pin drop, sure enough they heard the crowing. Panda and Fonda wanted to go and see the egg.
All the hens knew if they when it would be dark before they could get back home. But they knew the chicks would never shut up unless they did, so they decided to go.
When they got there the elder hen was already there. The nest was low enough for the chicks to peek into the nest. The hen house wasn't large enough for all of them so they decided to just let the chicks go in and watch.
Panda said, "Look how small it is!"
Vonda said, "It's out of it's shell now!"
The elder hen picked it up and checked it. She said, "It's a girl."
"Hurray!" yelled the chicks. Crystal Fawn only chirped caused that was all she knew how to do.
When Jeffery Hen, Henrietta and Vicki Hen heard this they said, "Come on children let's go home before it gets dark." The elder hen and parent couple of the little chick asked them what was their hurry.
Jeffery Hen said, "It's getting dark and we'll come back tomorrow to see it."
"O.K." said the new parents.
When they finally got home all Panda wanted to talk about was the baby chick that she watched hatch out of an egg.
This is how our conversation went:
Grandma: Cameron, come in here and see your Uncle Clyde. Remember me telling you that you are so much like your Uncle Clyde?
Cameron: Yelp, is he lazy too?
Posted by Grandma Jeff
At that moment I realized where Dad had acquired his parenting skills. His hunting dogs had provided him with the tools needed for rasing one lazy boy and four sweet girls. I can still remember getting balled out for something and NEVER doing that again. NEVER EVER! What ever it was!
Jeff
Ted turned 60 in January. Trying to look on the bright side, we were both thrilled that we now qualify for the Senior Discount on groceries at Kroger. Ted went in to sign up for it and get our special cards right after his birthday. They have Senior Day the first Wednesday of each month.
Last Wednesday (my birthday), at 6:30 am, we were both there, doing our shopping. I first ran into Ted as I was coming out of the rest room and he was going in. We met again in the toilet paper aisle and talked about how expensive toilet paper is and how fast it disappears. He said, “Did you ever think that on your birthday, we would both be standing in Kroger this early in the morning talking about our bowel movements?”
I said, “It could be worse.”
He moaned and said, “How?”
I said, “We could be standing in the laxative aisle talking about how backed up we are.”
Later, after checking out, I looked at my receipt and it didn’t show that they gave me the much anticipated Senior Discount. I handed it back to the checkout clerk and said, “I didn’t get the discount.”
She looked at me like I was crazy and said, “You have to be 60 years old to get the discount. There’s no way you are that old.”
I said, “Thank you very much but my husband is 60.” I pointed to him in the next aisle and asked if she needed to see his ID.
She looked at him and said, “Nah.” She punched the discount button and gave me my $23.00 discount. Hey, I had a good BM, got a compliment, and a $23.00 discount. This is the best birthday I have had in a long time.
eMail from Luci
Editor's Note: This story may help explain a photograph I found recently by following the Mount Sterling News link. It seems the Highway Department put on a special presentation about Highway Safety for the Montgomery County Senior Citizens. I thought that couple on the right hand side of the photo looked familiar.
Click on the photo to view full sized.
Amber called to tell us that our son-in-law had a day that was not to be topped by even the worst day any Stalker/Looney Clan member ever had, or ever will have. After hearing about his day, I had to agree.
Jevon is a crane operator. His job is to work on the Bridge of Lions in St Augustine, Fl. His crane sits on a barge in the Intercoastal. He has to come off the barge and ride back to dry land each evening. This one evening, one of the boards he stepped on was loose and he ended up in the water. And this was on one of the coldest days we have had this year. Now keep in mind, this is just the start of what is to become a very, very, bad FLY DAY for Jevon.
He got himself out of the water and went to his truck. He started home and realized that his cell phone was in his pocket and it was soaked. He used it to call Amber to tell her what had happen. Thinking that the phone was OK, he got out, "Hey Amber, you won't believe what happened to me today. I fell in to the water and my phone got wet, but apparently it still works." About that time smoke starts rolling out of his phone and Amber was no longer on the other end. The phone was dead.
He tried to figure out what happened to his phone. He pulled the battery off the back and dropped it in the floorboard on the passenger side. He looked at the battery and all the stuff in the floorboard with it, and decided he would have to go for it or it will be lost forever in all the junk. He was crossing over a bridge as he lunged down to get the battery and straightened back up. When he looked up he was on the wrong side of the road. He pulled the wheel and as he did he heard his rear-view mirror being torn from the truck. He looked back and all he saw was a cop car with a missing rear-view mirror. "Oh My Gosh!" (Those are my words, not Jevon's. I am sure he said something a little different.)
His brain went into overdrive. What should he do? Should he just keep driving as though nothing happened or should he pull over. I am sure his inner Amber started gnawing at him saying something like, "Jevon, you better do the right thing or this Fly Day will turn into a Horse Fly Day."
Now Jevon doesn't know what to do. He sits beside the road for about 20 minutes waiting for the cop to come back. He never does. Finally Jevon was brave enough to go to the closest convenient store he could find. He gets there and discovers he has no change to use the pay phone. He dials 911. The dispatch worker picked up the phone and said, "What is your emergency."
Jevon says, "I am calling to tell you that I just hit a cop car."
Before he can finish the rest of his story, she tells him to hold on one minute. He can hear the dispatcher talking on the radio to the driver of the damaged cop car, "Hold on, I have your HIT AND RUN on the other line."
Jevon immediately corrects her and demands she take it back, "I am not a HIT AND RUN. I am here waiting for the cop."
Dispatcher, "Sorry sir, that is just our terminology. Where are you? We will send someone to you."
Jevon told her his location and hung up the phone. As he turned around he saw a black guy coming toward him, "Hey Man, can you spare a little money for me?"
"No Man, just leave me alone. I have enough trouble without you bothering me. Just go away and leave me alone."
"In trouble? What kinda trouble you be in white boy?"
"I just hit a cop car."
"A cop car! White boy, you better leave now and get on down the road!"
"No Man, I'm not leaving. I just called 911 and told them I was here and they are on their way."
"No, I'm not!"
"I have a friend that hit a cop car once. Do you know where he is now? JAIL. Do you know how long he will be there? A very long time! You better run white boy. Run now and I will say I ain't never saw a thing."
"No, I"m not leaving."
About this time they hear the sirens coming their way. The black guy took his hands and rubbed his hair back and said, "You never saw me, white boy."
Four cop cars pull in, the Chief of Police and three more. The officer who had been in the damaged car stepped out of his car, threw his hands up in the air and started toward Jevon. "What in the %$#^ did you think you were doing?"
"I am so sorry, sir. It was an accident. I waited for you at the end of the bridge and you just went on past me. I waited for you to come back, but you never did."
He went on to tell them about all that had happened to him before the accident. When he was finished the cop lowered his hands and head. When he brought his head back up to speak he said, "Well, to tell you the truth, I was on my cell phone talking and didn't even realize I had been hit, until I tried to look into my rear-view mirror and it was gone. I didn't ever see you."
After a few more minutes of talk and more apologies, Jevon was told to go on home and not to worry about it. Honesty is still the best policy after all. Way to go, Jevon. We sure are proud of you.
eMail from Jeff
The number of comments to the stories on the StalkerClan have been down for some time now. That worries me. Is everyone losing interest? Have I made everyone mad? A year or two ago a good story could draw out 12 or 15 comments. Today's stories seldom get more than 2 or 3, if any.
Is the StalkerClan just going to fade out altogether? I better do some calculations and try to figure out how to fix this problem. Let's look at recent stories to see what we can learn...
Based on this analysis, the obvious course of action to maximize comment submissions and save the StalkerClan must include the following actions:
I'm willing to do my part. Action No. 1 is no problem, I can crank out doctored-up photos of Luci all day long. However, we need to count on the Florida Guinea Girls for Action No. 2. As frequently as they have been cranking out babies it shouldn't be much of a problem.
We're counting on you girls! The future of the StalkerClan is in your... uhhhhh, hands.
For Luci's birthday this year I thought we might all go together and get her one of those make-overs like they do on TV. Since she is the only millionaire in the family the most the rest of us can afford will probably be a new hair-do. She has worn that same Luci-Doo for quite a while now. What do you think of some of these possibilities?
If Hillary wins the election this look might help Luci get a big promotion at work. The only drawback I can think of is that Mom may not let her in the house the next time she visits. |
Mom might be more receptive if Luci wore this look. Luci and Oprah have a lot in common. They both rose from humble beginnings to become millionaires. They have been dieting for twenty years. Cooshy jobs and pampered lifestyles, they could be twins seperated at birth. |
I can remember Luci ironing her hair to get it this straight but I don't think she has tried going blond yet. She does have some experience with the paperazzi already. |
Continuing the blond bimbo look there is this style. Of course, turning Luci into Jessica is going to require much more than just a new hair-do. Exercise guru's, diet experts and plastic surgery don't come cheap. I doubt we can afford it and don't think Luci would survive it. |
All the young teenage girls want to be just like Miley, why not Luci? Maybe Ted could let his hair grow out and be her Billy Ray. Luci does love to talk about the time someone asked Ted if she was his daughter. |
Look no farther, we have found the perfect style for our Luci. She may be a little 'mature' for the Rock & Roll lifestyle but this look just fits her so well don't you think? |
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUCI
Lauren sent some photos of little Jayden for everyone to see. Click on the small images below to go to a full size view...
Looks like he enjoys sittin' around and lyin' around. I still think he could have been named Clyde.
Amber was on her way out to pick up Grandmother. She and the kids were riding in their new car, the clean, neat, spotless new car that the kids were not allowed to eat or drink in. She stopped at a Handy Way to get gas and pick up a few things inside. As she was pulling in she saw several trucks with the Get-R-Done tree service logo on the side. She knew her sister had to be around.
Inside, Traci had spotted Amber. As Amber parked her car she saw Traci coming her way. They hugged each other and Amber went inside, expecting Traci to still be by her car when she returned. She looked out the window and saw Traci lean inside the car and leave at what seemed like a very fast pace. She thought this was very odd. Traci always wanted to talk about something.
She paid for her stuff and went on to her car. She got in, started the car and drove onto the road. All of a sudden Caitlyn spoke up and said, "Momma, Aunt Traci said, 'Amber is gong to kick my butt.'"
Amber wondered why she would say that. She asked Caitlyn, "Why would Aunt Traci say that?"
Caitlyn said, "Aunt Traci said you are going to kick her butt, Mom."
"I know Caitlyn, but why did she say that?"
"Mom, look at me."
Amber turned to see Caitlyn with a big jug of Yahoo and a full bag of M&Ms. Caleb had the same. "Yes Caitlyn, Momma is going to kick Aunt Traci's butt!"
eMail from Jeff
