HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEREMY
We all hope it doen't turn out like this...
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I went out and took a picture of Jeremy's two favorite things...a snow day on his birthday and his truck he is fixing up.
I told him he was lucky to have a day off on his birthday and he may get one tomorrow as well.
Happy Birthday!! ---- Momma Michelle
I know this is off topic but I would like to inform all of you that Jayden Michael Scott was born January 16th 2008 @ 3:10AM. He was 6 pounds 4 ounces and 18.5 inches long. =)
Lauren
Hey Lauren, great to hear from you. We've been waiting for photos of little Jayden, send us some more. If anyone videotaped the delivery, email it to us, we can put it on YouTube.
I'm still disappointed that none of those little Florida baby boys have been named after me. Jayden Clyde Scott sounds good to me. Clyde Michael would be even better. I would even be happy with Clyden Michael. Oh well, maybe next time. - Clyde
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Can you imagine...
What if Hillary gets the Democratic nomination, and
What if the general election is really close again, and
What if Hillary wins KY by two votes (Luci & Micky), and
What if KY gives her the electorial votes to win it all, and
What if a few months later this happens...
I wouldn't want to be anywhere near Mt. Sterling or London, KY in that case.
I was talking to Jeffery about how she was feeling and one of the subjects we talked about was the election. The conversation went like this:
Me: I was talking to Mom earlier and she was nagging me about voting for Hilary.
Jeff: She didn't like that, did she?
Me: No, but like that lawyer said, I have to vote my wallet. I told Mom that when Bill and Monica was in the White House I was not in the poor house, I had a camper, season tickets to Dollywood, and could keep up with that millionaire Luci a little bit.
Now I am driving a Suzuki and eating Spam.
Jeff: Laughing
Me: I am hoping that Bill and Hillary will be as good a team as Bill and Monica was. That was a hard act to beat...gas was 98 cents a gallon, she had lipstick and a blue dress, and I could have afforded a blue dress and some lipstick too.
No wonder Bill was a happy man!
Posted by Michelle
While talking to Mom the other day about our usual topic, the election, the conversation went like this.
Mom: Are you going to vote for Hillary?
Me: If she makes it I will.
Mom: Are you going to vote for Obama?
Me: If he makes it I will.
Mom: Michelle, you're not going to vote Democrat are you?
Me: Mom, I have figured it out, I am too poor to be a Republican, I must be a Democrat.
Mom: Now, Michelle you won't be a bit better off with a Democrat in there.
Me: Mom it is like this...when Bill was in the White House, I was not in the Poor House!
I think she was speechless!
Posted by Michelle
Well, if I have said it once I have said it a thousand times, Cameron is just a little clone of his Uncle Clyde. Here are just a few of the similarities I have seen for myself:
Here is just one of his most recent works of art...
This piece has great meaning to it. If you look closely you can see a child in bed sleeping. You can see his mother coming to wake him up. You can make out a large circle going around both of them and a line going through them both, much like a NO SMOKING sign you would see at a restaurant. And, just to make sure his mom gets the meaning of his art work, he has named it...
NO WAKING ME UP PLEASE
Now that Cameron has tried his hand at expressionist art, I have to wonder if Uncle Clyde will do the same. If he wants, I am sure Cameron won't mind if he tapes a copy of his work to the head of his bed the way Cameron did. He can get his crayons out and make a few of his own:
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The list goes on and on. The only problem is that most of his art work would be for his sweet wife. The rest of us may never get to see any of it.
Posted by Jeff
I just ran across this bit of information at a website I sometimes check and it reminded me of someone. Can you guess who?
1. Bird poop is white because birds can’t pee. Their kidneys work like ours do, but instead of producing urine, birds excrete a white paste. The paste, along with what comes out of the intestines, unites and is excreted through the bird’s cloaca, a multi-purpose hole which means sewer in Latin. And, yes, by multi-purpose, I mean they even mate through it.
When I was growing up Uncle Joe must have asked me a hundred times, "What is that white stuff in chicken shit?" I thought he was trying to get me in trouble with Mom for saying S-H-I-T. Turns out it is actually chicken P-E-E. Who knew!
My company arrived one night on a three legged mule,
To the table they scattered and picked up their tool.
They waited and waited while my mind went blank.
What on earth do you feed two men, both built like a tank?
Both of them had high blood pressure, and sugar to beat.
What could I possibly fix for them to eat?
I had made a big roast, all moist and juicy,
When I heard Papa say, "I can't have that, just ask your sister Lucy."
Why in the world would she say 'NO' to my roast?
I thought I had just what I needed, if I added some toast.
"Oh No!" he exclaimed. "Not this time,
My bowels won't move to that rhythm or rhyme."
My mind went to working, I started to hear voices in my head,
"If his bowels won't move, we know what to do," they both said.
I was reluctant to listen to these two.
I was really scared to act on what they asked me to do.
One voice was strong and went straight to the matter, (Mawline)
The other was laughing so hard it sounded like clatter.(Luci)
To the shelve where I keep the bottle, I went with great dread.
If this worked like they said, I would need shovels from my shed.
I pulled a large spoon from the drawer and headed his way,
He said in glee "Why in #$@! hadn't I thought of that before today!"
I poured it, ever so slowly, into the spoon,
Hoping my septic tank would have enough room.
And said, "One more please," with a strange sort of grin.
He picked up the bottle and read what it said,
"Oh #$% #$%! I can't go to bed,
This stuff will work in five hours like a ton of lead."
He waited till nine to hit the old hay
He was sure it would wait until the next day.
He had just drifted off to sleep when all of a sudden,
He jumped to his feet and to the bathroom he went runnin'.
The Gators and WildCats were playing that night,
I had hoped Randy and Clyde would not get in a fight.
Both said they heard lots of noises from Dad's direction,
But neither one checked on him, not even his own son.
They were in the middle of a really good game,
And to them, if he went or not, it was pretty much all the same.
Poor old Papa! His Castor oil cocktail had exploded by now.
He had to keep getting up somehow.
He had prayed to go, for days and days,
But now he was praying, "Please make it stop. I'll mend my bad ways."
The next day he was like a new man,
Fishing was his great and wonderful plan.
"Come on Randy, get your fishing poles, come on down to the boat.
Make sure you get my life jacket, because after last night, I know I won't float."
Posted by Jeff
One of the triplets wanted to eat with Roo. While he was eating with Roo, Jeffery Hen and Roo both thought he was Crystal Fawn and took him home with them. When they got home the chick would chirp non-stop.
Crystal Fawn went home with the other triplets. While she was there she was enjoying herself very much. The family was wondering why was the chicks having such a good time. As they were playing Henriette noticed that one of them looked a little different and wondered why. She picked the chick up and checked it and behold, it was Crystal Fawn!
"Crystal Fawn!" yelled Henriette.
The chick looked up at her and chirped saying,"Yes."
Henry said, "Well, lets just let her stay till lunchtime, cause they are having such a good time with her. It might be good for them to part for awhile."
But Jeffery Hen and Roo was having a time. The chick wanted to play with Roo all of the time, he wanted to stay around Roo's feet all of the time. Roo knew something was strange. After about two hours of putting up with this behavior, he finally left the hen house, leaving the chick with Jeffery Hen. Jeffery Hen didn't know what to do. She picked the chick up and noticed it felt different. She decided to check it and saw that it was a boy.
She was very confused, "I thought that elder hen told me that it was a girl, now its a boy." Before she had a chance to tell Roo, it was almost time for lunch. She said to herself, "I'll surprise Roo later."
When they all went out for lunch, Henriette came over to Jeffery Hen laughing. Jeffery Hen said, "What's so funny?"
Henriette said, "You took one of my boys home with you."
Jeffery Hen said, "I did? Well, where is my baby?"
Henriette said, "Here she is."
Crystal Fawn was eating with all of the boys now. She just didn't want to leave the boys. Jeffery Hen went over to her and checked her. "I am getting more confused all of the time. Crystal Fawn, you come home with me," said Jeffery Hen.
This time Jeffery Hen went home after eating. She had the right baby.
I have never had a doubt about being Oot Stalker's daughter, this week my inner Daddy was tapped.
I was asleep in the bed one night about 1:30AM and I heard 
I laid there for about five minutes listening to
After that,
I rolled up the window in the bedroom and hollered, "SHUT THE HELL UP!" I knew then that the true Papaw in me was ready to rear its ugly head. The dog shut up and I was almost asleep when I heard,
I had enough! I jumped out of the bed, walked down the hall, down the stair and to the basement door. I ripped open the basement door and for three minutes or more I let that dog have the most awfullest, ugliest talk that could have been inflicted on anyone. ( $%^$%!^&** !^#^) I really doubt that Daddy would have strung together all the obscenities I said, and the way I strung them together...I was a master! I was mad and that dog knew it.
I am sure that dog was out of ear shot 30 seconds after I started my rant. After the ( $%^$%!^&** !^#^) was over I said, 'I WILL PUT YOU IN MY CAR AND TAKE YOUR $%!^ &** TO JACKSON COUNTY!'
When I came to my senses and turned around, Jim was standing behind me and he was like 'What is wrong, What is wrong?'
I turned my vocal assault from the dog that was keeping me from sleeping to Jim who was standing behind me with a stunned look on his face. After about a minute of ( $%^$%!^&** !^#^) he threw up his hands and said, "Hold it! I just wanted to know what was wrong."
I huffed off back upstairs and went to bed. Jim said he stayed near the door so he could keep the dog from barking. He probably thought that if I came back down stairs and being in the Papaw frame of mind, I would be carrying a gun.