Looking back at the old StalkerClan pages on Zoomshare, I noticed this story was posted five years ago today. I can’t believe it’s been that long. This is a classic and one of my favorites so I’m reprinting it today.
Oh, the joys of the first day of school. [ Go to the Original ]
I told Jeff about my first day of school this year and she suggested that I share it with the StalkerClan. Anyone contemplating the thought of teaching should have been with me on the very first day of Preschool.
I have decided to divide this story up into sections. The children involved will head the topics...
JACK
A lot of children look forward to riding the school bus, but Jack was totally fascinated by the bus. For 2 years his Mom has promised him he would get to ride the school bus. On the first day of Preschool Jack is standing beside the road with his Mom when the bus pulls up. Jack starts to board the bus for his first day of school when the bus driver says, "I am sorry you can't get on, I don't have a monitor to watch you." As the bus doors close, Jack hits the rocks and dirt in the yard kicking and screaming, his mother brings him to school scarred up from the traumatic ordeal of having the bus go on down the road without him. He says to the bus driver as he passes him in the school bus loading area, "I am riding that bus as soon as you get a thermometer."
STANLEY
After arriving in the room and settling Jack down and assuring him that he would get to ride the bus home that afternoon, a father came with his little boy, Stanley. When it was time for the parents to leave Stanley went into ape mode. He screamed, he cried, he laid in the floor as his Daddy went to the door. The principal came and ushered Stanley's Daddy up the hall.
We tried to calm him down, after about 1 minute he announced to the class, "I HAVE TO PISS." So I told the assistants to let him go to the bathroom. As Stanley went out the door, he caught a glimpse of his Daddy poking his head out from around the door next to the classroom. Screaming fit, rolling in the hallway, both assistants trying to calm him down, he pinched both assistants. One on the arm, the other on the breast. They threw Stanley back into the room and the principal came and ushered Stanley's Daddy back down the hallway.
Upon entering the room Stanley went berserk. He threw the chairs then stood on the table. He pulled my HAPPY BIRTHDAY bulletin board off the wall. As he was perched on the board, with his claws dug in like a cat on a screen door, I reached up and grabbed him. I put him down and he ran up to the door and ripped the paper that I had over the door opening. To my amazement, Stanley's Daddy was peeking in the room through the torn paper. Stanley screams. The principal comes and ushers Stanley's Daddy back up the hall.
We get ready for breakfast. We make it to the front where the lunchroom doors are and peeking out from the principals office is (you guessed it) STANLEY'S DADDY. Stanley lays down in the hall, kicking and screaming, and hitting his head on the floor. I reach down, grab Stanley, and throw him into the breakfast line. The principal, upon returning to her office finds Stanley's Daddy. She says, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY OFFICE?" He said, "CHECKING ON STANLEY." She orders him to leave.
Well, the lunchroom has windows that look out to the visitor parking area, and as Stanley's Daddy leaves,( YOU GUESSED IT) Stanley sees his Daddy walking up the side walk. Stanley screams and kicks, and screams and runs out the door that is kind of hidden in the back of the lunchroom. I scream, "HE IS RUNNING OUT THE DOOR." The principal screams and my assistant and the principal take chase. Lo and behold, the smoking area is in the back of the lunchroom and the janitors on their smoke break hear my assistant screaming, "CATCH HIM, CATCH HIM" and they all take chase. About 2 minutes later, the Principal and Stanley walk in. Stanley's Daddy is finally gone, and he proceeds to scream all day long.
MARCIE
During the episode in the lunchroom, Marcie was so scared at what was happening that she messed on herself. Here she was, crying, and I wanted to cry too. The more I tried to clean her up, the more I got the poo on me and her both. She had it from her waist to her shoes and down her socks. And I had it up to my elbows. The more I tired to clean, the worse it got. I called the principal and said, " Do you all have any baby wipes? I have one here that messed all over herself."
She said, "No, I sure don't." She makes an 'All Call' over the intercom system..."IF ANYONE HAS ANY DIAPER WIPES, WE NEED THEM IN THE OFFICE IMMEDIATELY".
There we both stood, covered in shit as the principal came and handed me a travel pack of baby wipes with 2 wet ones in it. I did the best I could with what the Lord provided and went on. I thought I had done a really good job.
DEWEY
There was a boy as that was getting into everything and running around the room and I kept saying, "Dewey, come here," and he acted like he was deaf. I told my assistant, "I am going to refer him for a hearing test, he acts like he don't hear us."
The next day his Daddy came to school to see how Dewey was doing and I proceeded to tell him how I though he had hearing loss. He said, "Well, we don't call him Dewey, we call him Dewayne."
I said, “That may be the reason he acted like he didn't hear me.”
He said, "When Dewayne got home, I asked him how his first day of school was and he said 'Daddy, it was wonderful, but those teachers hollered for you all day long!??!!”
Well, I have survived and . . .
Posted by Teacher of the Year Award Nominee
Crystal Fawn chirped. 
Suzy Belle Ramey McGhee, 74, of Pikeville, was born April 25, 1935 to the late Fred Lee and Ruby Moore Ramey. She was preceded in death by her husband of 47 years, James Edwin McGhee, who died November 29, 2003, and her brother, John Dot Ramey in 1980. 
If it eats like we all did during Stalker Days, it will be fat and sassy by the next time we get together. Maybe it will be able to pull Jeremy’s tractor around the farm. 
