There is another media darling in the StalkerClan. The newspaper recently came to Camp Ground to ask a ‘Person on the Street’ question. It was about seat belt safety.
You can tell by the picture that the camera loves me or the camera don’t lie.
Watch out Sherry, here I come.
Michelle
Somebody very special is having a birthday today. I wonder who it could be.
A while back we were all gathered at Erik and Veronica’s, it may have been for Erik’s birthday, I can’t remember for sure. At any rate, while we are there Bryan and Emerson end up competing head-to-head in a game on Emerson’s Wii. They go at it hot and heavy for quite a while.
You need to picture the two combatants to really appreciate this. Here is Bryan, in his mid-thirties, college graduate, with twenty plus years of video game experience behind him. On the other controller is Emerson, in his mid-single digits (five), Pre-K graduate, with three or four months of video gaming on his resume. You would think it wouldn’t be much of a contest. You would be right, but maybe not in the way you might expect.
They compete pretty much evenly for a while, their thumbs tapping feverously at the buttons on their keypads. Then, with a slight twist of his wrist, Emerson makes his on-screen video combatant quickly turn and destroy Bryan’s … the game is over.
Emerson slowly turns to Bryan and very matter-of-factly asks, “Why do you even try?”
Of course Bryan was speechless, put in his place by a five year old. The rest of us loved it!
We all have a new favorite catch phrase now. We look for opportunities to use it anytime we’re together. Whenever one of us loses in some way, makes a mistake of any kind, drops something, spills a drink, or messes up in any way … someone is sure to ask, “Why do you even try?” Around this bunch we hear it a lot.
Clyde
I am in the process of making some changes, mostly minor, to the StalkerClan websites. You’ll notice some changes in the column on the left side of this page.
Google is discontinuing one of the web applications I have been using for some of the secondary StalkerClan pages and I am moving some of them to other locations. You may notice some broken links from time to time, especially if you have bookmarked links to these pages. I will try to keep the links on a new Links to Our OTHER Sites page up to date. (Look in the STALKERCLAN LINKS section at left.)
I am trying to reduce the clutter on the main StalkerClan page so that it will load quickly. I have moved several features that were on the main page to the new Links to Our OTHER Sites page. The links to news items about Kentucky, Florida, WildCats and Gators and our hometowns are now on the bottom of that page. Links to several other pages, including SeriouslyLooney, have been moved there also.
I am discontinuing the StalkerClan Mini-Mall. The only thing I am keeping is a link to the Puritan’s Pride Vitamin Shop. It is the only store out of all those in the Mini-Mall that we have gotten money from in the last year. The new link in the left hand column should work just like the one in the old Mini-Mall.
I have also added a link to The StalkerClan Gift Shop. This is something new I have been working on. You should find several familiar looking products there and some new ones. These are real products that you can order. They are a little expensive. Paying $12.95 for a coffee mug or $16 to $26 for a T-Shirt is a bit more than I like. The custom printing is what makes them cost extra. Maybe the millionaire can order a few things.
I’m also going to discontinue the Sad Songs page. It hasn’t been updated in a long time anyway. If Luci’s dry eyes need some tears she will have to get them the same way I do … check her 401k account balance.
I haven’t decided what to do with the Motivational Posters item. Should I keep it on the front page? Let me know what you think.
If any of the changes I have made, or make in the next few weeks, cause you problems let me know and I will try to fix things.
Clyde
Pat had his last final exam last Friday and packed up to come home. He decided to go to the rest room before heading out. While he was standing there taking care of business and minding his own, a guy came in and threw up all over him.
He had to go back and take a shower and change into clean clothes. (Of course he double bagged the contaminated clothing and brought it home to his Mom. Mother's Day was coming up.)
Just as I was watching …Tornado Warning for Madison County… on the news and panicking, he called me to say that he was getting on the interstate. The storms chased him all the way home. It was raining so hard I opened the garage door so he could pull inside to get out of his car.
Isn't there a song about farewell for the summer? I'm not so sure Pat was humming it on his way home.
Luci
I guess everyone knows that Ted recently had all his teeth pulled. He has to wait 6-8 weeks to get his dentures. Amazingly he hasn't had much trouble eating at all. The day he had them pulled, we actually went to Cracker Barrel that afternoon.
This weekend he went to an auction. He bought a hamburger at the concession stand and didn't have any trouble eating it so he decided he would have a hotdog. The wieners were charred - just the way he likes them. He put the end of the hotdog in his mouth and bit through the bun but, as hard as he tried, he couldn't even put a dent in the wiener. Not wanting to take it out of his mouth and let everyone see that he was just standing there sucking on a wiener, he waited until no one was looking.
This caused me to wonder if the other guys - Chris, Jim, Shawn, Jeremy, Justin and Oliver, actually go to the tractor shows and auctions with Ted to see the equipment or just to watch the comedy show.
Luci
I’m sure everyone remembers this old photo, I’ve posted it once or twice before...
I captured this picture when Dad and I were in Florida back in January…
It must be the result of some genetic predisposition. I’m sure, in time, I will get photos of Luci and Sherry with their versions of the traveling plastic bag hat.
Clyde
Grandma keeps trying to get me to say that she is my favorite, but ever body knows…
Grandad’s my favorite.
Grandma tries and I luv her a bunch, but Grandad just knows what a girl likes…
That’s why he’s my favorite, except for Edward of course.
Caitlyn
Here is a slideshow of some of the photos Amber took at Evan’s birthday party.
The lady who did the face painting was very talented. She needs to be working for Disney. Heck, she almost made Jeffery look good.
If you have trouble viewing the slideshow, here are links to the individual pictures…
Just how bad do you have to behave, to be the only one in a wild crowd like this …
… that gets carried out by Security?
I guess it’s true what they say…”There’s one in every crowd, and it’s usually Crystal.”
Clyde
In that bunch of old newspaper clippings that included the article about Crystal’s softball playing days, there was a whole page from an old Appalachian News-Express. It was one of those pages the paper does for special occasions where they publish school children’s writings. This one was for Mother’s Day. It took me a minute to figure out why Mom had saved it, but then I saw the name on this little girls story:
It must have touched Mom’s heart for her to have saved it. I bet it touched Judy’s too. Probably still does today.
Clyde
Here’s another of my favorite photos from the West Virginia ski trip…
It’s not often you can capture a picture of a guy after he has spent hours doing his favorite thing in the whole world (skiing). That's not gray in his hair, that's snow. Looks to me like he is saying, “Hey, let’s go again!”
Clyde
I uploaded another StalkerClan video to YouTube today. While Erik, Veronica and Emerson were at Hillbilly Days, Erik tried to climb the Rock Wall. The lure was a $100 prize for anyone who made it to the top. Of course they made it virtually impossible for anyone to climb. Erik made it farther than most.
One more photo from the ski trip…
It reminds me of those photos you see in National Geographic about the insect world…
Clyde
Crystal and Jesse took the kids down the St John's River this past Sunday. They said Caitlyn spent the better part of the day torturing poor Cason with taunts such as … ‘You’re a poopoo head, Cason’, ‘You fart all the time’, ‘You stink’, and on and on.
Cason was just about to lose his mind when his mom came to the rescue. Her wonderful Aunt Crystal looked Caitlyn in the eyes and said, "Caitlyn, Edward poops his pants."
Oh My! This was the worst thing she could have possibly said. Caitlyn went berserk! She hit Crystal and told her to, “Take it back! Edward does not poop in his pants.”
For the rest of the day, when Caitlyn would start messing with Cason, Crystal would repeat the one thing that would make Caitlyn leave him alone, "Edward does too poop in his pants."
I had to wonder what that would look like. They only drink blood.
Jeff
I remember the last time Luci came to Hillbilly Days. One of the characters she met was this handsome hillbilly prince. There was a familiar ring to the story he told…
He related how he he had met the love of his life at a moonshine fueled shindig in the head of a holler, somewhere on the south side of Pike County. They spent the evening listening to bluegrass music, barefoot clogging and sipping white lightening. It was hillbilly love at first sight. But just as the cuckoo clock was about to strike midnight, his barefoot beauty bounced up and bounded away. Not having any glass slippers to run out of, the only thing she had left behind was the pair of pumpkin colored bloomers the prince was carrying. He was roaming the county now on a quest to find the woman who the bloomers would fit, the beauty who had stolen his heart.
Luckily, Luci looked like the lonely Lothario’s lost love. He asked, “Would yee tryeth these on? Yee might be my fair princess.” Well, Luci tried with all her might. She tugged and pulled and stuffed and wiggled and squirmed. She huffed and puffed and blew the … No, wait, that’s the wrong story. She tried as hard as she could, but she just couldn’t squeeze into those bloomers.
The poor prince, dejected, went on down the street, still searching. He was at Hillbilly Days again this year, still looking for the woman of his dreams.
Luci hasn’t been back to Hillbilly Days since.
Clyde
Pikeville’s annual Hillbilly Days festival was held again a couple of weeks ago. This photo from the local paper shows part of the crowd that showed up this year. It looks like attendance has rebounded since the festival was almost cancelled because of foul odors back in 2004.
Emerson had so much fun at his First Hillbilly Days a couple of years ago that he insisted on coming back this year. Here he is with his Mom and Dad browsing the midway.
His favorite thing this year was getting to ride several of the rides at the carnival. He even sneaked on at least one of the “big kid” rides. Here he is with Mom and Dad on the Double Ferris Wheel.
He spent the whole day on Saturday riding the rides, playing the games, watching the parade and riding the rides again. He wore out his parents and Grandma Jennie too.
Clyde
Amber took lots of pictures on the recent ski trip to West Virginia. This is one of my favorites…
That’s Amber in red and Jevon in the yellow jacket. The deer don’t seem to be spooked at all, they must be accustomed to having people nearby. I know Amber and Jevon are accustomed to having wild things around them.
Clyde
A few days ago when I posted this picture…
I didn’t pay much attention to the vehicles out there in the mud bog. Now that I look a little closer, one of them looks kinda familiar…
Surely that isn’t Randy and Jeff’s Pathfinder out there in the Hog Waller!
If Randy ever saw his vehicle in a place like that, I know what he would say…”I’m Ruined!”
I can barely zoom in close enough to make out that it has a Florida license plate. I wonder whose Pathfinder it is? I just can’t believe how careless some people are with their vehicles.
Clyde
Michelle was a very vocal supporter during the election so I wouldn’t be shocked to see a very special guest at this year’s gathering at the Schell’s. What better opportunity could there be to “Spread the Wealth” than at Stalker Days?
Yes, it won’t surprise me at all to see a low level flyover of the Schell farmstead by Air Force One, like what happened in New York City recently. However, I’m afraid the only wealth that will be spread around will be some of the bounty from Oliver’s garden. I need to be sure to beat Lucille there, and Shawn, and Jennifer, and Obama, and …
Clyde
While Luci was on Road Creek back in March we got her an ice cream cake for her birthday…
I’m pretty sure the WILK on her cake wasn’t the only WILK she got while she was there.
Clyde
One of the things that Luci made arrangements for while she was on Road Creek in March was for a hospital bed to be delivered for Dad. The thinking was;
It was delivered and set up in Dad’s bedroom before Luci left.
Snug in her bed back in Mount Sterling a tired Luci slept soundly, very satisfied with the way the new bed had turned out and pleased that she had done a good thing. Meanwhile, Dad spent his first night in the new bed without sleeping a wink.
“Maybe it’s just going to take a little getting used to,” Luci argued when she was called. “Give it a little while longer.”
After two more nights without sleep, Dad had taken all he could stand. He says he took Sherry’s bed and threw her in that hospital bed. She only lasted two sleepless nights in it before the medical supply place was called to come remove it.
Dad says, “My only regret is that Luci didn’t get to spend a night or two in that #*&$ bed.”
It all reminds me of a quote I saw recently:
“Hell isn't merely paved with good intentions, it is walled and roofed with them.” – Aldous Huxley
Maybe Hell isn’t just paved, walled and roofed with good intentions, maybe it’s outfitted with furniture too.
Clyde
Amber sent me some photos recently. Several of them were taken at a birthday party for Jessie’s little younger brother Evan. Crystal and Jessie went all out to show Evan a good time for his 16th birthday. I’ll try to share some of the photos with everyone in coming weeks.
One highlight of the party was a really talented face painter. She did some great artwork, especially on the kids. Here are Before & After shots of Cameron.
I think she really captured Cameron’s inner self with her work. Hey, I still haven’t forgotten that smelly encounter with the Farting Florida Fanatic on the shore of Hewitt Lake.
Uncle Clyde
