Stripper Shoes

Aunt Traci loves to buy clothes for Caitlyn Jean. Amber is just about to kill her because all she want to wear is camo prints. They can be pink camo, but it must be camo.

One day Aunt Traci came over and brought her a pair of sandals about three inches high. Caitlyn loved them so much she had to wear them everywhere they went. This just about drove Amber nuts. The final straw came when someone asked her where Caitlyn got her 'Stripper Shoes'.

They made the mistake of asking that question in front of Caitlyn. Now, whenever she sees someone she will walk up to them and say, "Hey, do you like my stripper shoes?"

Posted by Grandma Jeff

American Idol

Crystal must be planning for her future. She has Cason practicing for an appearance on American Idol already...

I Saw The Light

Mom's kitchen and her Christmas were both made brighter up by the new range hood and light fixture that Jim and Shawn installed for her...

THANKS GUYS !

Photo from Michelle

Redneck Conversation

Cousin Cody came to visit for Christmas.

We had the best time while he was here.

He spent his last night here at Aunt Amber's house. This is one of the conversations she overheard him having with his cousin Austin...

Posted by Grandma Jeff

NO BIG SURPRISE AFTER ALL

I remember a Christmas, the family wanted to surprise Clyde with a big present. Clyde was in college at the time. We got a big box put a note in the bottom of it and filled it with old catalogs. When he came home we told him that big box was his gift.

I also remember Mrs. Stapleton coming over while Clyde was home. She said, "I sure would like to be here when he opens that big thing."

If I remember correctly we put 'From Jeffery' on it or something like that. While the family was at church and I was down in the basement playing pool, Clyde got into his package. When it came time for us to open up the gifts, Clyde said, "I already been into it."

Lucille said, "Oh, yeah, while all of us was at church and Sherry was down in the basement playing pool he got into it.

Clyde said, "I didn't know what to do with all of the catalogs that were in it."

Posted by Sherry

Lucille's Double Whammies

I remember a Christmas I was going to get even with Lucille for playing a joke on me for my birthday. I got a penny and wrapped it up in a big lot of newspapers and put it in a large box. I also bought her another gift, a box with a bar of soap with a rope attached to it. When I put this gift under the tree, I told everybody, "I haven't decided who I want to give it to."

Lucille laughed, "She hasn't decided yet."

When it came time to open the packages, Lucille said, "Well, I know everything in my packages except Sherry's, so I guess I will open it first." When Lucille got the package and started opening it, what surprised me the most was Daddy was more interested in what was in the box then she was. Each and every time she unwrapped a piece of newspaper, and another piece of newspaper was under that, Daddy would laughed that much harder.

Daddy was laughing as hard as he could and then, when she finally got to the penny, she held it up in her hand. When Daddy saw it he laughed so hard I thought for sure he was going to die laughing.

When she finally got her joke over with I said, "Lucille, here is your gift. The one that I said I couldn't decide." She opened it up and there was a very pretty bar of soap on a rope. Daddy liked the other package better. He was still laughing about the other package.

I said, "Dad? did she get a bar of soap?"

Dad said, "No, it was a penny."

Posted by Sherry

The Etch a Sketch

I remember a Christmas, everybody was gone but me. While I was at the house alone, Clyde came in and if I remember correctly, he brought in some gifts. He said, "I got Michelle a light bright for Christmas." I told him that I got her something but I didn't get her what I wanted her to have.

He said, "What did you want her to have.".

I said, "An Etch a Sketch.".

He said, "How much is one.".

I said, "I'm guessing $3.".

He said, "Well, I'll get it for you." I gave him the $3 and he got it for her..

After the packages got opened I enjoyed playing with the Etch a Sketch more than Michelle did..

I remember back years before Michelle was born, an Etch a Sketch was a very popular toy. Well, I bought somebody an Etch a Sketch for Christmas this year. I wonder if it will be a great gift to give this year. Just like the lable maker years ago..

Posted by Sherry

Christmas Vacuum Cleaner

I remember back when we lived down on the river, we tried to get Dad to buy Mother a vacuum cleaner. Dad finally got Mother a vacuum for Christmas. It was a great big thing, nobody knew how to use it.

Mother said, "I got a vacuum cleaner for Christmas and I can't get anybody to even tip it!"

Posted by Sherry

The Importance of Zeros

Mom:	Your Daddy is sending you your Christmas check in the mail. Sherry says we have to send it with her cards in one envelope to save money. So make sure you get it out before you start giving everyone their Christmas cards from us.
Me:	Well Mom, could you ask Dad to add an extra Zero onto my Christmas check this year?
	Silence
Mom:	Well Honey, I'm afraid we had to take one away.
Me:	Take one way?
Mom:	And your Daddy said his Chirstmas present this year is his trip to Florida.
Me:	There goes another one of my Zeros.
I can't wait to see Dad and Clyde arrive on the back of that old three legged jackass. I hope that old three legged jackass can hold up for many more trips to Florida. Posted by Jeff

76 Trombones and 110 Cornets

Mawline's birthday this December 12th would be her 110th. I couldn't find out when Delie's is, all I know is she would have turned 76 this year. That makes it '76 Trombones and 110 Cornets'.

Meaner

Seventy six trombones led the big parade,

With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand.

They were followed by rows and rows,

Of the finest virtuosos,

The cream of every famous band.

Seventy six trombones caught the morning sun,

With a hundred and ten cornets right behind.

There were over a thousand reeds,

Springing up like weeds,

There were horns of every shape and size.

There were copper bottom timpani in horse platoons,

Thundering, thundering, all along the way.

Double bell euphoniums and big bassoons,

Each bassoon having its big fat say.

There were fifty mounted canons in the battery,

Thundering, thundering, louder than before.

Clarinets of every size,

And trumpets who'd improvise

A full octave higher than the score!

Seventy six trombones hit the counterpoint,

While a hundred and ten cornets blazed away.

To the rhythm of Harch! Harch! Harch!

All the kids began to march,

And they're marching still right today!

Seventy six trombones led the big parade,

When the order to march rang out loud and clear.

Starting off with a big bang bong on a Chinese gong,

By a big bang bonger at the rear.

Seventy six trombones hit the counter point,

While a hundred and ten cornets played the air.

Then I modestly took my place as the one and only bass,

And I Oom-Pah'ed up and down the square.

Christmas Elves

Ran across these Christmas Elves on the Internet. They sure do look familiar somehow.

(NOTE: You will need a fast intenet connection, and speakers will help.)

Conversation with Mom and Dad

I called Mom one morning and asked how she was doing?

Mom Well honey, I didn't sleep too good last night.

Me Why do think that is, Mom?

Mom Well honey, your father has to have gravy every Sunday morning for breakfast. He knows he isn't suppose to eat it but he does anyway. I think he is just a plain old Looney Tick.

A few days later I was on the phone with Dad.

Me Dad, Mom says you are a Looney Tick.

Dad #$%^$ I may be a tick, but I sure hain't no %$^#%$ Looney!

Posted by Jeff

Being Number One...Taken Too Far

I know I should have posted something about our Thanksgiving gathering at Road Creek before now but it has taken me a while to recover. No, I didn't eat too much, or eat too fast, or drink to excess. Well, maybe a little, but that's not what got my blood to boiling and fired up my ulcers again. No, it was the sight of the display atop Mom's china cabinet.

There, overlooking the whole Thanksgiving celebration, meticulously arranged and angled so all could see, someone had erected a ME-chelle Shrine. I don't know what else to call it. It was almost more than I could bear.

As everyone arrived, carrying what they brought for the feast, they entered, went over to the kitchen table and lay their dishes down there in front of the ME-chelle Shrine. It looked like they were making an offering to the great and powerful ME-chelle. I had to go out on the front porch for a while.

Time to eat came and someone suggested we all gather in a circle and hold hands, there in front of the ME-chelle Shrine. To a stranger it would have looked like some weird pagan ritual. Mom began to say the blessing and darned if everyone else didn't bow their heads and close their eyes, right there with that infernal ME-chelle Shrine looking down at all of them. I couldn't do it, I bowed my head but I kept one eye open. I think I heard ME-chelle giggling in the kitchen.

Thank goodness it takes a lot to spoil my appetite (it must 'cause nothing ever has.) I was able to turn my back on that ME-chelle Shrine long enough to eat a generous helping of most everything on the alter, I mean table. Just as I was finishing second dessert however, someone spoke, I turned and caught a glimpse of that shrine again. What I noticed this time froze me in my tracks. There at the right hand end of the shrine sat Mom's little brown glass container with the baby deer on top!

At various times in my life I have seen that container filled with bobbie pins or stick pins, buttons and thimbles, earrings or nickles and dimes. But it has always been there! When I was a little fellow, pointing up at Mom's dresser and saying, "I'm-a-Doo, I'm-a-Doo," setting there on the top shelf beside my Choo-Choo train was that little brown deer. Seeing it where it sat now, all I could think was, "Blasphemy, Blasphemy, I say!" I had to go to the Meaner Mart to cool off before heading home.

That night a frightful image kept popping into my head, I could see the little brown deer and there beside him was Davy Crockett. They were both stashed away in some dark recess in London, KY. I had to eat some more dessert to calm my worried mind.

Christmas will be here soon and it will be time to make another pilgrimage to Road Creek. I don't think that ME-chelle Shrine will be a problem this trip though. You see, I borrowed Dad's sledge hammer and pole axe a while back and I need to return them. No, I don't think that shrine will bother me at all this trip.

Figured Out After Thirty Years!

After thirty years of marriage, Randy and I have figured out a few things about each other. I have figured out that if I have something upsetting to tell him, I must prepare him for it.
Me:	Randy Honey, I have something to tell you, and I don't want you to get upset about it. Getting upset won't help the problem, so it's best to try and not let yourself get so worked up about it.
Jokingly Randy pretends to huff and puff as though he is getting it all out before I tell him the upsetting news. His cheeks go in and out and his face gets red. He stomps around the room and makes fists with his hands. This lasts about five minutes.
Randy:	I'm ready now. Go ahead and tell me the bad news.
Me:	Are you sure you are ready?
Randy:	I'm sure. No, just one more minute.
I wait while he does some more pretending.
Randy:	Okay! I'm ready.
I tell him the news. He stands quietly. He doesn't seem to let it faze him in the least. I am thinking this might really work. I will let him vent ahead of time. NOT! Thirty minutes later, after he has really had time to simmer over what I have told him, the kettle begins to spitting and sputtering the steam it has had bottled up. I try to catch a moment when the steam is at it's lowest pressure to interject what I think will be some calming advice.
Me:	Now Randy, we just have to pray about these things. Getting all worked up and spending the day upset will not help things at all.
He stops and looks at me. I think I am going to hear something like, "Yes Honey you are right. We just need to pray about this." NOT !
Randy:	After thirty years of being married to you, I finally have you figured out. When you tell me to pray about something, what you are really saying is, 'Randy, will you shut up!'
I started to deny his claim, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. I really did want him to shut up and PRAY. He finally has me figured out.
Posted by Jeff

My New Pin

I would like for Jeffery to know that I like the pin she sent me for Christmas. I am wearing it to school. I had Jeremy take my picture at my messy school desk to show me wearing it.

Thanks Sis, I hope I wear the pin well.

Michelle

I Have Some Place To Be

Last Sunday was Lauren's baby shower. We were to all go to Newberry for the event. Crystal and Amber decided it would be nice to go early and have lunch with Aunt Nancy and Lauren before the shower stared. They went to one of Nancy's favorite restaurants, a place called Floyd's in High Springs. They were dressed really nice and ready for the shower later in the day.

They sat down in a booth. Crystal sat next to Nancy and Amber and Lauren sat across from them. They were having a great time telling stories. I do believe, if memory serves me, I was told that Amber told most of the tales. (I was told afterward by Aunt Nancy, "Oh the things I heard about you. I will never be able to look at you the same again!") Thanks Amber! You are on restrictions. AGAIN!

As the stories were really getting good and the laughter was really on a roll, Amber said she heard a crash and all of a sudden, in slow motion, she saw a large glob of something coming at her. She tried to duck to miss it but was unable to move fast enough. The large glob landed on her pretty top. The only one she had to wear to the shower. Oh, she was so upset!

Now while Amber was busy trying to get the glob off her shirt, Aunt Nancy, Crystal and Lauren were rolling in their seats, tears streaming from their eyes, all fingers pointing toward Amber. They all thought this was hysterical, especially Aunt Nancy. She kept saying, "HA! HA! HA!"

Then, all of a sudden, she realized that whatever happened, happened behind her and she turned to see what it could have been. She quickly turned her head. As she did the back of her head met Crystal's eyes. Crystal's eyes widened and she stopped breathing. The finger she had been pointing at Amber was now busy moving back and forth at the back of Aunt Nancy's head. Her head was covered with specks of tarter sauce. Suddenly, Aunt Nancy turned to see Crystal's finger pointing at her and she said in a frantic voice, "What? What? Is there something in my hair? Somebody tell me! What is in my hair?"

The girls were laughing so hard, they could not tell her!

Again she pleaded, "What is in my hair? DID SOME KID THROW UP IN MY HAIR?" Somebody tell me, do I have throw up in my hair?"

The other three were still unable to speak. The picture of their Aunt Nancy will globs of tarter sauce in her hair was just too much.

The waitress come over and apologized for the tarter sauce and asked if she could help.

Aunt Nancy told her in no uncertain terms, "NO! You can't help me! I HAVE SOMEPLACE TO BE!"

Now you would think that this one bad experience at one of your favorite restaurants would be enough, but no, not for Nancy. She had been unable to eat her sandwich, so she asked for a takeout box.

Waitress:	Well, we really don't have regular take out boxes anymore. We have Chinese boxes.
Nancy:	What is the difference?
Waitress:	One is a regular box and the other is Chinese.
Nancy:	What?
Waitress:	We don't use Styrofoam any more.
Nancy:	Well OK. Just bring me a box.

The waitress comes back with a small Chinese take out box, the kind you get Chinese takeout in. Nancy looks at this small box and looks at her sandwich. How was she going to make this work. Amber said she pushed and tugged at that sandwich and box for ten minutes trying to get it in that box. (If she had just thought to wipe a little of that tarter sauce off her hair and put it on the side of that sandwich, it would have just slid right in.)

Now for the rest of the day Nancy was to be haunted my the smell of her hair treatment. All afternoon if you listened closely you could hear a small voice whimpering in a crowd of women at the shower,

• "Do I smell like mayonnaise?"
• "I smell Mayonnaise!"
• "Does anyone else smell mayonnaise?"

I made the mistake of asking her if she gave the waitress a tip? (A little Michelle came out in me?) Such language! So the best I can translate is, "NO TIP FOR YOU MISSY! I HAVE SOME PLACE TO BE!"

email from Jeff

A few Shower Photos...

Santa Meaner Strikes Again

It looks like Santa Meaner has stuck again at my preschool classroom...

Thank you Meaner, the stockings look wonderful!

Michelle Schell
Preschool Teacher
Camp Ground Elementary School

Happy Birthday Matt

We hope all you dreams come true.

Well, maybe not all but most of them.

OK, some of them.

A few maybe.

One or two, depending on what they are.

Ah Heck, Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Mindy

Someone left a comment about Danny's birthday a few days ago and said...
Dang, everybody is gettin' old ain't they.
Happy Birthday, Mindy

One of Them Has it Right

I went to Road Creek over the summer and asked Mom and Dad what number I was.

I am hoping that Mom has it right, that I am Number 1 daughter.

I am afraid that Dad might be on the right track.

I think I am behind

1. Jeffery,
2. Luci, and
3. Sarah, the woman at the Senior Citizens,

in his book.

Posted by Michelle

Happy Birthday Carlos

Instead of that same old

"Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You" song ,

I thought Carlos might like THIS SONG

-

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

CARLOS

Happy Birthday Danny

This Thanksgiving Day is also Danny Looney's 47th birthday.

I remember back when Danny lived over in the other house. I was visiting them one day. Danny had a medicine bottle in his hand and it had two suppositories in it.

Joe said, "I don't know what you are suppose to do with them, but Danny has been eating them."

Danny said, "I do no such of a thing." Wanda and I was sitting around laughing about it.

Well, happy birthday Danny.

Posted by Sherry

Mountain Achiever

The Mountain Student Achiever on last night's WYMT News program was from East Ridge High School, she is Kassie Ward, daughter of Noble and Cathy Ward. I guess there could be two Noble Wards in the area but I suspect this is the same Noble we grew up with at Yellow Hill.

Click Screen to View

I don't know how long this video will be available at WYMT, it may disappear after a few days.

The Babies Get Their Names

While all of the hens were gathered at Jeffery Hen and Henriette's homes, everybody was wondering what they were going to name all of the babies. Jeffery Hen said, "His name is Randall Junior, we are going to nickname him, Roo Junior."

One of the hens said, "Roo Junior sure isn't shy is he?"

Jeffery Hen said, "He chirps all of the time, his daddy had to sleep up in the tree last night becount of it. What is Henriette going to name her boys?"

All of the hens said, "We don't know." Jeffery Hen got up out of her nest and asked all of the hens would they care to go over to Henriette's and ask. They all got up and with the baby behind chirping and running close beside her. When they got to Henriette's house the crowd was bigger then ever before. Roo stopped crowing when the roosters came in with the hunt. Everyone came out to eat.

Henriette and all of the boys came out to join the crowd. Jeffery Hen went over to Henriette and ask her what did she name the boys. She said, "I wanted to name them after their daddy, so Henry and I decided to name them Henley, Hendrix and Henrik.

Posted by Sherry

Spandex Meets Cactus

Yeah, we had a great time on that walk. We even reminisced about a previous walk we had taken when Mom sat down in her maroon spandex pants and Dad raked her butt over a pile of cactus. . . . Good Times.

We decided to take an afternoon walk and Mom couldn't go without trying out her new maroon spandex workout pants. Well I guess all that walking was a workout for her so she decided to take a breather and sit down for a minute. When it was time to head back to the house she asked Dad to help her up and he raked her butt over a pile of cactus that just happend to be in front of her. It was great.

Sorry, no video... just sweet, sweet memories. It was sooo funny.

Info from Mindy

Jeffery Hen - First Night With the New Baby

Jeffery Hen decided she would just wait till everybody come home for the day and surprise them with the baby. In the meanwhile, she decided she would enjoy the baby all by herself. She cuddled the baby and kissed on it, all of the time. She said, "Randall Junior, I am going to let your daddy announce your arrival tomorrow."  Jeffery Hen knew everybody in the neighborhood was over at Henry's place be-count of the three boys they have.

Shortly, before the sun went down, in came Roo, Bear and Panda. Jeffery Hen tried to act like nothing had happened, she grinned a big grin. Roo said, "What are you smiling about."

Jeffery Hen laughed, "Guess what happened."

Roo said, "The big egg hatched?"

Jeffery Hen said, "No."

She got up from her nest and Roo looked inside of it and saw the baby. To everyone's surprise he flew out of the hen house and up to the top of the treetop. "Jeffery Hen's egg has hatched!"  But everybody was all home for the night. Roo said to himself, "I guess everybody has had a day with those three boys."

Roo flew down out of the tree and went back home. When he got back into the hen house he told Jeffery Hen, "I will spoil the baby tomorrow, I have crowed all day."

That night the baby chirped all night, keeping the family awake. Roo finally decided to sleep out in the tree and so did Bear. The next morning when the sun came up all Roo had to do was just crow. When he did all of the hens gathered over at his house to look at the baby.

Posted by Sherry

Jeffery Hen - Her Egg Hatches

After watching Henriette's chicks for a while, Jeffery Hen thought it was time for her to go home to her egg. She said, "Roo, I'm going home, isn't it time to announce the hatching of the big egg?"

Roo said, "If Henry doesn't want to I will, but it's his chicks."

Jeffery said, "Roo, you do know tomorrow is when our egg will hatch."

Roo said, "Yes Dear, I know that."

While Jeffery Hen was on her way back to the hen house, Roo asked Henry had he announced the hatching of the three boys. Henry said, "No."

Roo said, "Do you want me to announce it? It sure is a big thing happening in Chickenville. Never have I heard of three chicks coming from one egg before."

Henry said, "Sure."

Roo flew up into the top of the highest limb of the redwood tree. "The big egg has hatched and three boys are born!" When Roo got finished announcing the hatching of the big egg, it seemed like every chicken around flocked to the hen house.

While all the chickens were gone, Jeffery Hen's egg was hatching. When the chick hatched out of the egg it was in great wonderment, "Where is everybody!" It ran around in the nest chirping as hard as it can chirp, but nobody heard it. Everyone was gone to watch the big egg hatch. The baby chick was in confusment. It wanted its mommy, it chirped and chirped and it never stopped.

When Jeffery Hen finally got closer to home she started hearing something chirping. She thought one of the chicks Henriette had was following her. She looked around and around but she did not see a chick. She finally noticed the sound was coming from her henhouse.

She yelled really loud, "That must he my baby!"

She flew as fast as she could and, sure enough, it was her baby. It had hatched a day early. She couldn't believe her eyes. It was bigger then either one of the three boys. Jeffery Hen calmed the baby down telling it she was sorry for not being there for it. She said, "Roo is going to be so proud of you, Randall Junior."

Posted by Sherry

Banned From WalMart

Crystal says Cason has been banned from WalMart.

Turn up your speakers...

Going for a Walk, Florida style.

BubbleShare: Share photos - Here comes Halloween!

Conversations with Mom

Every Saturday, as I am folding laundry, I try to call Mom and talk for at least 30 minutes, unless she gets a beep and then it is shorter. I was talking to Mom a few Saturdays ago and this is the conversation that took place.

Mom: Hello!
Me: Hey Mom, what has been going on this week?

Mom tells me all the happenings on Road Creek for the week. What days they went to the Senior Citizens and what they had to eat. Who went to the doctor and why they went, and the obituary report. After a few minutes we talked about Sherry going to Rite-Aid and her getting dropped off at Clyde's.

Me: Well Mom, what do you do down at Clyde's?
Mom: He shows me pictures that he has on the computer and we talk, he is a really good boy, Clyde is. ( Mom actually said it or I would have not put that statement in here. )
Me: Well what does he have you to eat when you get there?
Mom: Eat?
Me: Yes, like food??
Mom: Nothing.
Me: Well, does he talk about food?
Mom: No.
Me: Well at least I talked about it? Does he have any left over invisible spagetti?
Mom: No. ( laughing that little Mommy laugh )
Me: Well, I tell you what, you need to at least hint around a little.
Mom: Well, the last time I was there I opened the refrigerator by mistake, I guess it is a habit.
Me: Did he take the hint?
Mom: No.
Me: Mom, he is a man, he is expecting you to be the momma bird and put the worm in his mouth, not him share his. ( We both laughed a little .)
Me: The next time you go down there, reach under the cabinet and get a pot and put some water in it and put it on the stove to boil and when he says 'what are you doing?' you say, 'I am waiting for you to put something it that pot I can eat!'
Mom: I am not hungry when I go down there, or we're about to get something ( Mom laughing a little .)
Me: All you have to do Mom, is tell Clyde you're going to call Jennie and tell her you're hungry and I bet Clyde would have you at Applebee's before you could reach the phone on the wall.
Mom: Laughing.

I knew the thought process of Clyde .. It would be better to take Mom to Applebees than to have Jennie race home from work and fix Mommy something to eat!

Posted by Michelle

Florida Halloween 2007

We took Emily and Blair to trick or treat with Amber and Traci's crews in Palatka. The had a blast! We went to a subdivision called Round Lake Park. Most of the houses were decorated and the people were great. I even saw the male counterpart of Meaner there. His wife was giving out candy and he was giving out tooth brushes. I think he is a dentist. We have plenty of candy now, and two very tired children. They loved trick or treat!

eMail from Jeff

Double click the PLAY arrow to start the slideshow.

Exactly 22

Carlos and I fixed up exactly 22 Ziploc storage bags full with...

• a box of 24 crayons,
• a pencil with a big top eraser,
• a large toothpaste and toothbrush,
• a Hershey's bar,
• a five count pack of chewing gum,
• a small pumpkin from Lucille
• and Mother had us to put in a sucker.

I told each trick or treater not to eat the pumpkin.

Believe it or not! We received exactly 22 trick or treaters! I couldn't believe it.

When Michelle comes up for Thanksgiving I will give her the remaining crayons to put in the Christmas socks and Easter baskets for her classroom. That is 43 boxes.

Posted by Sherry

Halloween Costume

Here's Emerson all dressed up and ready for Trick or Treating.

He decided to dress up real scary this year, he is going as Grandpa Clyde.

Grandma Jennie thought it was hilarious. I thought he made a pretty handsome fellow.

Clyde

MySpace Messed Up

When I was working on the page with links to the MySpace pages of StalkerClan members, I noticed a problem with Shawn's MySpace Page. It looks to me like Bert, or is that Sugar, has somehow gotten into Shawn's computer. I sure hope he can clean things up. Posted by Clyde

Thanks Meaner

Our class would like to thank Meaner for our pumpkin buckets. We have filled them so full already that we may have to put side boards on the tops of them to hold all the goodies.

Posted by Michelle

So Much Cooler Online

I'm having a hard time understanding baby sis' Michelle. She asked me to add links to some of the MySpace pages of StalkerClan members. I've been working on it and what I have so far is HERE.

I don't have a MySpace page and I've always had the impression people tried to make themselves look "So Much Cooler Online" on them. Like in Brad Paisley's song:

I work down at The Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm five foot three and overweight
I'm a sci-fi fanatic, mild asthmatic
Never been to second base

But there's a whole 'nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace.

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm six foot five and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine

I figured that Michelle had put together a page that presented a glossy image of her like everyone else does. I expected she had posted a photo like this ...

But, when I look at her page, I find ...

I wonder, if people assume this is the "much cooler online" Michelle, what do they think the REAL Michelle looks like?

Like I said, I have a hard time understanding her.

Posted by Clyde

That Calendar Can't be Right

That calendar can't be right. It says that today is Chris Potter's 25th birthday. There must be some mistake. Why it was only yesterday that he was ...

Chris, we hope you have a great birthday and that all your presents didn't come from Preston.

Court Day Weekend 2007

Thursday after work, Ted convinced me to go to Preston. It has been about 10 years since I went there before and he insisted that it had changed. There were some noticeable improvements. Most of the animals were in cages and there were port-a-pots here and there. It struck me almost immediately that someone had found the spot where Jeff and Randy had dumped all the stuff they hauled out of Mom and Dad’s basement. It looked for the world like everyone in the neighborhood had cleaned out their basements and thrown the stuff in the yard. Ted tried to buy some chickens but the man wouldn’t guarantee that they would live (with all the coyotes, foxes and other critters Ted has roaming around at the farm, not to mention Bert and Sugar). We came home empty handed.

In anticipation of Mom and Dad visiting for Court Days, I took off early on Friday, thinking I would get home, rest for a while, have something to eat and maybe even pick up the house a little before they got there. (Wake up Luci. You’re Dreaming)

I was walking home wearing my usual attire, big straw hat, really big sunglasses that go over my other glasses, long sleeve shirt (sun protection) and was carrying my usual self protection device, a big metal thermos bottle in a Walmart Bag. It is a rock in a sock type of protection. I figure if anyone is desperate or drunk enough to try to rob a bag lady, they will probably freak out when she comes at them swinging a metal thermos in a bag. If they are crazy enough to get close tome I plan to swing it over my head and them smack them up the side of the head with it.

I was about half way home when I heard a vehicle pull up behind me. Instead of coming on around me, it seemed to be just following me up the road. I got over to the side just in case someone thought they couldn’t get around my big butt. Still they didn’t come on around me. I got into my stance. Started to sling my bag over my head and turned around. It was Mom and Dad.

Mom and I headed out for Penny’s and Walmart. Dad and Ted took off for Preston. Ted’s second trip.

Saturday Morning Mom and I headed out for Winchester. She didn’t want to go downtown in all that crowd. She just wasn’t able to walk that much. We spent an hour or so in Lowe’s and another hour or so at the Peddler’s Mall. It was a trip down Memory Lane for Mom. She had owned just about everything in there at one time or another. As we were getting in the car ready to head for home and rest for a while (Wake up Luci. You’re dreaming), Mom said , “Where to now?” I asked if she wanted to go to Peebles. She said “I just don’t know if I’m able. Are they having a sale?” I said “So if they are having a sale you might be able but otherwise, you ‘re not?” “That’s right.” I said, “I guess we could do a drive by to see if they are having a sale.” Sure enough they were and we spent another hour or so in there before heading home. When we got home, Dad said he had found some things he knew we would love and insisted on taking us out to see them.. When he turned left out of my subdivision, Mom yelled “Where are you taking us? I thought we were going down town.” I was ready to drop and she was ready to go downtown.

Dad took us to a yard-sale where they had several surprisingly nice tables and shelves. Mom bought a small table/ plant stand with a marble top. We loaded it in the back seat and headed home. We decided to stop by a local greenhouse to see if they had any nice mums. After spending at least a half hour picking out the perfect one, I carefully loaded it in the back seat of the truck between me and the table. I stuffed items from the floor around it so it wouldn’t turn over and thought to myself, “It should be able to make it to Pike County in good shape.” (Wake up Luci, You’re Dreaming). When we hit the first bump in the road, the table fell over and smashed the mum to bits. Dad is probably still picking little springs of mum out of his truck.

Mom and Dad headed home early Sunday morning. Clyde and Jennie arrived about 30 minutes later. Finally, I was going to get to go to Court Day. The weather was perfect. The crowd was sparse. We had a wonderful time.

We actually bought more stuff than we had in several years. After we found some Kettle Korn for Clyde, he was happy to walk around eating it while we kept slipping our bags on his arms. As long as his hands were free to eat, the world was good or as long as his mouth was full of Kettle Korn, he couldn’t complain. At least we couldn’t understand what he was saying. Jennie brought Apple Dumplings that she had fixed from home. They were wonderful. (Am I still dreaming?)

It was the best Court Day Weekend ever.

Posted by Luci

What's Happened to Clyde?

Hey, it's been almost a whole week since Clyde put anything new on the StalkerClan. What do you think is wrong? Reckon maybe he got stuck halfway between lyin' around and sittin' around again? He's bound to have a hen tale or something to post.

I do have a hen tale I haven't posted yet and a couple other stories too. It's true, I haven't been on the StalkerClan as much as usual lately. Jennie and I have been trying to get the homeplace ready for winter and doing our Football Season sitting with Emerson but that's not why the StalkerClan has been so quiet.

I'm still on the Internet almost as much as usual but I've gotten sidetracked by looking into genealogy, check the post on SeriouslyLooney for an example.

I've also spent some of my online time lately looking at moving the StalkerClan from Zoomshare to another blogging host. Zoomshare just keeps adding more and more advertising which bugs me. Every time I log onto the site to make a change I have to look at a full page ad for about 10 seconds before it will let me do anything (annoying.) There are a lot of things other sites will do that I haven't been able to get to work on Zoomshare. I started the LooneyStalkers/ShellShocked site on Blogspot because Zoomshare wouldn't let me post games, videos or things many other sites offer.

We do have three plus years of postings at Zoomshare and there seems to be no easy way to move them to another host. That makes the decision to move a difficult one.

I have been looking at using BlogSpot as a new host for the StalkerClan. You can see what I have done so far at www.stalkerclan.blogspot.com. Blogspot is one of the more popular blog hosts and has a lot to offer.

• It's free, which is important to me.
• It's easy to use, also important to me.
• It supports videos, slideshows and a lot of things that Zoomshare doesn't.
• It doesn't put any advertising on your blog (I like that.)

I think I can combine the best of ...

The StalkerClan on Zoomshare

ShellShocked and

The StalkerClan Gateway

... into one page at www.stalkerclan.blogspot.com. That would certainly simplify my life. Take a look and let me know what you think. Just leave a comment on either site. I plan to post to both sites for the next few weeks to see how it goes.

Now I need to get back to lyin' around.

Halloween Decorations

Oh No! It looks like Luci's pumpkin display has inspired Jennie.

I wonder, who's this fellow lyin' around and sittin' around at our front door.

Pumpkin Potters

We visited Luci this weekend for a quick trip to Court Days. As usual Ted has grown a big crop of pumpkins and Luci has several arranged at her front door. I don't know who she is trying to fool with this display though...

I guess the fellow on the left could be Ted, but everyone is going to know the one on the right is NOT Luci. Wishful thinking maybe?

(Thanks to Vicki for the photo, she emailed it to me last week. There are apparently some very creative people out there somewhere, and some of them have way too much time on their hands.)

The Big Egg Hatches

As time went by Jeffery Hen was wondering when it was going to be time for Henriette's big egg to hatch. She knew that her own egg would hatch the very next day. She got off of her nest and went over to Henriette's house.

Henriette saw Jeffery Hen coming through a crack in the wall. When she saw her she got off her nest to greet her at the door. Henriette told Jeffery Hen she had come just in time to help her turn the big egg. When Jeffery Hen and Henriette hopped onto the nest, Jeffery Hen noticed a crack in the egg. She said in a low voice, "Henriette! Look here, there is a crack in the egg."

Henriette said in an excited voice, "Oh, my goodness! My egg is ready to hatch." She immediately ran to the door and hollered for Henry. Henry and Roo both came running and so did a lot of other hens. When Henry and Roo got into the hen house, the house was completely full, there was no room for any more chickens. Among them were Bear, Panda, Vick and her twins.

They looked at the crack in the egg and saw a beak poking out of it. They turned the egg and noticed another crack, and then another one. "Three cracks! That is three chicks!", yelled all the chickens. When the egg finally broke open there were three baby chicks.

The elder hen came to check on things. She had a time convincing the chickens outside the hen house that she needed to check the baby chicks. When she finally got to the nest she was surprised to see three babies. She checked one of them and it was a boy. The elder hen said, "Well, I see you got three boys."

Henry said, "You only checked one of them."

The elder hen said, "If one is a boy so are the rest of them."

Written by Sherry

Happy Birthday Cameron 2007

Another of those Florida Boys is having a birthday today. Hope it's a great one! Cameron's online album has been updated with a few more photos. Click on the photo at right to check them out.

Happy Birthday Caleb 2007

All of your StalkerClan relatives hope you have a great birthday. Come see us when you can. Caleb's online album has been updated with a few more photos. Click on the photo at right to check them out.

Caleb

Celebrity Birthday

A certain StalkerClan celebrity is having a birthday today. Click on the PLAY arrow below to see who it is...

Hot Mama

Jeffery Hen - Another Egg is Laid

When Roo got back home from measuring the big egg, he wanted to measure Jeffery Hen's egg. He said, "Look here, Dear, that big egg was just as wide around as the length of this feather." He made a big circle with the feather to show how big the egg really was. He took the feather and wrapped it around Jeffery Hen's egg. It was almost two-third as round as the big egg.

While they were in the hen house a rooster outside was crowing to announce that his hen had laid an egg. Jeffery Hen wanted to go and see the egg. Roo said, "I'll stay here with our egg till you get back and then I will go over and measure their egg."

Jeffery Hen went over to the hen house to look at the egg. The egg looked small. All of the hens told the hen of the egg that they think it is going to be a girl. One of the hens said, "It's usually a girl when the egg is small and a boy when the egg is bigger, most of the time."

When Jeffery Hen got back home she told Roo that the hen laid a smaller egg then hers. Roo said, "Well, just let me go over and measure it." When Roo got to the hen house he told the hens that he would like to measure the egg to see what size it was. The hens got out of his way. He said, "That big egg Harriet laid was just as wide around as this feather," as he showed them the feather in a circle.

While he was measuring the egg he noticed the egg was smaller then Jeffery Hen's because it passed by the notch he put in the feather. When he got finished measuring the egg he showed them how much smaller the egg was compared to the big egg and Jeffery Hen's. "Your egg is exactly one half as wide around as the big egg," said Roo. "Here is how big Jeffery Hen's and my egg is."

When Roo got back home he showed Jeffery Hen how much smaller the egg was then hers. Roo said, "We better get on the ball and start thinking up some names."

Posted by Sherry

Smash the Webmaster !

Get revenge on the evil webmaster if you were mistreated in his Hen Tale...

Jeffery Hen - Roo Measures the Egg

When Jeffery Hen woke up to the crowing of Roo the next morning, Bear and Panda were already outside. It was a very warm morning. When the roosters got back from their daily hunt, Roo flew out of the tree and went in to check on Jeffery Hen.

She got up out of her nest and looked back to see the egg she had laid. She and Roo both knew right away that it was a boy. Roo said, "It's bigger then the other egg you laid."

Jeffery Hen said, "Yes Roo, it is bigger then the other one."

Jeffery Hen and Roo went outside to eat. The other hens wanted to see her egg. Jeffery Hen said, "Well, let's get finished eating and we will all go in and look at it."

When they all got finished eating they all went inside. Roo said, "Well, since all of you hens are over here, I think I will go over and measure that big egg. By the way, how is the hen that laid that egg?"

One of the hens answered him, "She's getting alone just fine."

Another other hen said, "She is always having trouble turning it. Her husband has to help her."

Roo asked, "What are their names."

One of the hens answered, "The hen's name is Harriet."

The other hen added, "Her husband's name is Harry."

A third hen said, "They moved here from Grapeville."

Roo didn't want to look for his feather that he pulled out of his tail the other day, so he pulled another feather out of his tail.

When he got over to the hen house, Harry was outside. Roo said, "Hey, Harry, do you care if I measure that big egg with this feather?"

Harry said, "If you help me turn the egg I won't."

Roo said, "Be glad to help!"

When they got inside Harriet thought it was too hot to sit on the egg. When Harry and Roo got finished with turning the egg, Roo took his feather and tried to wrap it around the egg. Roo said, "My feather is just barely long enough to reach across the middle of it!"

Posted by Sherry

Helping Shawn with the Canopy

Turn up your sound and click the arrow twice.


Call Lucille to get her to fill in the blanks for you.

Whitewater Rafting Video

I discovered this video of a kayak on the Russell Fork above Elkhorn City and thought you might want to see what it is like to go over some of the really big rapids.

I think Michelle should try this. It looks like fun. I will volunteer to stand on the bank and video her going by.

Pop those Zits!

Play the latest game sweeping the Internet...Pop Those Zits!

Click on PLAY and then click the Zits. Try to beat my high score of 75 zits.

Put this game on your blog Create your own More games

Tees for Brothers

The Tee Shirts Keep Coming

Big Business

Hey, this Tee Shirt thing could turn into big business with this StalkerClan bunch. I might end up having to do some work. I better rethink this...

More Tee Shirts

As requested , another design for the StalkerClan Custom Tee Shirt Store is in the works...

This unique design could be worn with pride by most of the StalkerClan's couples. What a great anniversary gift a pair would make, better than a Seal-a-Meal.

Michelle Schell Creations

I'm thinking about signing up with Cafepress or a similiar merchandiser so that people can actually buy some of the

'Michelle Schell Creations'

we have posted on the StalkerClan.

Who wouldn't want their very own Monk-Monk Mug or a custom Tee Shirt like these.

Send me your ideas for Tee Shirts, Bumper Stickers or whatever. I feel some good Christmas Gag Gifts coming this year...

The Pusher - Steppenwolf

Here it is, Michelle's first church solo...


I think she knew all the lyrics at one time.

Biblical Curse Generator

I just found a website that will generate biblical style curses for you.

Here are a few of my favorites...

• Woe unto thee, O thou bull of Bashan, for you will be thrown into a den of hyperactive lions!
• Thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou son of thunder!
• O that thou wouldest be swallowed by a whale with excessively bad breath, thou lying Girgashite!
• I hope you will be as welcome as a fart in the queen's bedchamber, O thou wayward winebibber!

Try it out for yourself. Never know when you might need a good curse.

Jeffery Hen Lays An Egg

When all of the chickens awoke to the crowing of Henry, all of them were in wonderment. A big crowd gathered around the hen house. Roo came out and said that Jeffery Hen might lay her egg today.

All of the roosters decided to go on their hunt. All of the hens decided that some of them are going to have to stay and help keep watch; and some of them are going to have to help out with the hen with the big egg. They all decided because the hen house was so small that two hens will have to do.

Roo asked Jeffery Hen did she want him to stay with her or the hens. She said in a very low voice, "Roo I would appreciate it very much if you would just stay outside, just in case I do need you."

The two hens stayed with her until the roosters came in with the daily meal. When they did the hens decided that they must take turns at going in and out to feed. Roo also took turns with them. Roo always kept an eye on Bear and Panda while he was out feeding. Roo said, "Bear, I am leaving you in charge of taking care of Panda while we are taking care of Jeffery Hen. Just let her play with the twins, but don't let her out of your sight."

Jeffery Hen was in the hen house with the two hens; her moaning got so bad it could be heard a distance away. Roo stepped back into the hen house and took hold of her; she wrapped her wings around him and started to squeeze. She could feel the egg inside of her and wanted to get it out fast. When the egg finally came out she said in a low voice, "I laid the egg!"

The hens told Roo to let them see if she did. Roo lifted her up and the hens did see the egg. "Its a bigger egg then the other one she laid," said one of the hens.

Roo said, "Does that mean it will be a boy?"

The hen said, "I guess so."

Roo laid Jeffery Hen back into her nest. Jeffery Hen was still awake. Roo asked her did she want him to go and announce the laying of her egg.

Jeffery Hen said, "Yes."

Roo flew out of the hen house and flew up in the top of the tree. "Jeffery Hen has laid an egg!", he crowed. As usual, several hens started gathering around the hen house.

Posted by Sherry