Cheerleader Crush

It looks like Caleb and Cason got to live out every guy’s fantasy, being mobbed by a squad of pretty cheerleaders. 

I wonder how they did it.  Did they tell the cheerleaders their names were Caleb Tebow and Cason Tebow maybe?
Photo from Crystal’s Facebook

JEFFERY HEN - The Neighborhood Wonderment

Crystal Fawn wanted to roost on the roosting rod so Jeffery Hen put her in between Roo and Panda, with Bear on the other end. She wanted to make sure that she won't fall off the rod. Jeffery Hen slept in the nest as usual. The rod was only big enough for three chickens.

The next morning, when all woke up with the crowing of Roo, they all went outside and shortly the roosters showed up with the morning meal.  Roo stopped crowing and came down to join his family.  Jeffery Hen started talking with the other hens. "Have you all noticed it has been a long time since anybody has laid an egg?"

Several of the hens were looking back and forth at each other. "I don't even know anybody that is carrying an egg," said one of the hens.

Another hen said, "I haven't seen Jennie Hen in a few days. Don't you think we should go and pay her a visit."

Jeffery Hen said, "There's Clunk."  All of the hens went towards Clunk and asked about Jennie Hen.

Clunk said, "She's been trying to lay an egg."

"What's the problem," asked Vicki Hen. "Does she need help?"

Clunk went back into his henhouse with Jennie Hen something to eat. When he got into the house Jennie Hen gave out a loud scream.  Clunk went to her to help.  Jennie Hen fell right to sleep. When Clunk sees that she is asleep he goes back outside. "She's asleep," said Clunk.

Jeffery Hen said, "We heard her scream!"

Clunk said, "I know it, I am hoping there will be an egg under her when she wakes.  I have to admit she was so tired, it was no wonder she fell to sleep.”

Jeffery Hen said, "She'll be awake this evening."

Everyone waited for Clunk to announce the laying of the egg. When night time came there was no announcement. The next morning no crowing of announcement."  The neighborhood was in wonderment.

Sherry

The Mayberry Circus

I just found this post and photo on Amber’s Facebook page.

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My kids are so random.  Caleb and Austin just walked into the room while I'm trying to get my Nancy Grace fix and said, "Hey, watch this trick we made up... Tah-Dah!"

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A person can’t help but wonder, “Where do they get it from?” 
I think I found the answer to that question in another photo at Amber’s Facebook account…


Clyde

THE ORANGE SACKS (rewritten)

If I remember correctly this was the first Christmas I was told that there was no such thing as a Santa Claus and it was Mother and Dad who was filling up our socks at night. I thought because it was them that was filling up our socks, I took it they would fill up anything, why a sock?

It was the day before Christmas, and the first thing Lucille and Jeffery did when they got finished eating breakfast they hit the sock drawer for a sock. I didn't bother.  They worked on those socks all day long stretching them as much as they can. While they were busy working on socks I was busy playing.
Somewhere around 4PM or 5PM Lucille and Jeffery had their socks hanging up in front of the mandle. Lucille said, "Sherry, aren't you going to put yourself up a sock."  I looked around and I saw an orange sack laying in the floor. I went over and picked it up and tied a loop in the string and hung it up where I was suppose to hang up a sock.

Lucille said, "Mother, Sherry is hanging up an orange sack instead of a sock."

Mother said, "Hang you up a sock, Sherry."

Jeffery liked the idea so good that she went and found herself a sack and went she did she took her sock down and hung the orange sack up in its place. Lucille said, "Mother, Sherry and Jeffery both has gotten orange sacks up instead of socks."

Mother said, "They won't get filled."

Lucille said, "I'll hang up that red waste can, if that's what it takes."

Lucille wanted an orange sack also, she had no other choice but to put on a coat and a pair of boots, and went outside on the back porch where Mother and Dad kept the stuff to use to fill up the socks. If I remember correctly it was snowing and she had a hard time dealing with the weather. She had to empty herself out a sack. When she finally got it emptied she came back inside and took her sock down and hung up the sack.

Our bedtime has been 8PM forever. When it was time to go to bed there were three orange sacks up for Santa to fill. After all of that work Lucille and Jeffery did to those poor old socks.  If I remember correctly it seems like I was kindly awake when Mom and Dad where in the room to fill up the sacks. I heard Dad say, "These aren't socks these are orange sacks."

Mother said, "That was Sherry's idea."

Dad said, "Sherry's!"

I was laughing to myself.

When morning came all of us got up and the first thing we wanted was to see what we got in our orange sacks. I have to admit they weren't completely filled, but they were somewhere around 2/3 full. I was glad to get what I got cause I felt like I got the most I could possible could get. I got my sack and I put it around my shoulder like a Santa sack and said, "Ho, ho, ho, I'm Santa Claus."

When Jeffery saw what I did, she did it also. At least I didn't spend all day Christmas Eve working on socks.

Sherry

Santa Train Newspaper Article

There is a long article at the website of the Kingsport Times-News about the recent visit of the Santa Train. There is a video in the article that includes the stop at Elkhorn City. It is interesting to see from the perspective of the people on the train. Follow this link to the story:

Santa's Log - The day love comes to town - Kingsport Times-News Online:

"Santa's Log - The day love comes to town" 

Published Thursday, December 10 2009

You can't travel anywhere in this region without hearing the sound of a nearby train. These iron horses are the muscle of our country's history and a few of weeks ago one very special express warmed the hearts of thousands of children in our region. On Saturday, November 21st, the 67th Annual Santa Train made its annual trip from Pikeville, KY to Kingsport, TN.

JEFFERY HEN - Problems In The Henhouse

All of the hens were gathered together in front of Jeffery Hen's henhouse. Henriette said, "Last night my boys thought because they are now a year old, they're big enough to roost on the roosting rod. There was just barely enough room on that rod just for them and Henry alone. I had to sleep in the nest."

Vicki Hen said, "My twins have been sitting on the roosting rod for a year now. I have to admit there is just enough room so far for all four of us to roost on it. I am going to have to admit if they was to grow any more I will have to start sleeping in the nest."

Patricia Hen said, "Mike, Micey, and I seem to have plenty of room on ours. That’s just because there is only three of us."

Jeffery Hen said, "There is just barely enough room on the roosting rod for just Roo, Bear, Panda and me. If Crystal Fawn was to decide she wants to start roosting on it, I will have to just sleep in the nest. Right now Crystal Fawn and I are still using the nest. Roo, Bear and Panda seem to sleep just fine right now."

Roo and Bear started toward the henhouse. Panda and the twins with Crystal Fawn and the triplets and Micey all started towards their mothers. When they all got joined together, everybody when home.

Roo, Bear and Panda took their place on the rod as usual. Jeffery Hen helped Crystal Fawn up into the nest. Crystal Fawn wanted to sleep on the rod.

Jeffery Hen said, "You might fall off of it."

Crystal Fawn chirped, "I want to roost on the rod!"

HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2010

I would like for you all to know today Dollar General put their Halloween stuff on sale for 90% off.  I went up there and purchased 49 costumes, 29 trick or treat buckets, some other trick or treat bags and some lights.  Michelle will start decorating for Halloween in just ten months from now. She will decorate her classroom windows with spider webs, with a spider surrounded by 70 lights each.

The children will each get a bucket, bag or collapsible container.  The girls will either be princesses, witches or vampires.  Each boy will get a costume of either a pirate or ninja. I have to admit I am low on boy costumes, is anybody willing to purchase some more?

Sherry

What Difference Does 60 Years Make?

Looking through the old family photos recently I couldn’t help but notice… how LITTLE I’ve changed in sixty years. 

Looking at these two photos side by side I see…

• the same round rosy cheeks,
• the same double (or triple) chins,
• the same cute little mouth, open in anticipation of food,
• the same baby blue eyes pleading,”Feed me, feed me”, and
• they both look like they could be saying, “I’m a Doo-Doo’ed my pants.”

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I wonder, is it appropriate for me to wish myself a happy birthday? Is that self-centered or conceited or something?  Oh heck, who cares…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !

Happy Birthday Matt

Today is Matt’s birthday and I’ve been trying to think of a good story about him to post on the StalkerClan.  I thought of a good one but I’m afraid to tell it, I fear Sara will throw him out of the house.

There is another good story I could tell but it’s so bad it even embarrasses me.  I better just be quiet and say…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT

Happy Birthday Mindy

 

We’re all thinking of you and hope you have a great birthday.

Carlos’ Big Week

It’s that time of year again and another big week for Carlos has rolled around.  His ‘To Do List’ is always full this time of year. The Santa Train has come and gone.  Now it is his birthday and before the day is done there will be a big Thanksgiving dinner to eat. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLOS (Don’t eat too much.)

Here is a photo of the Santa Train stopping in Elkhorn City this past Saturday.  I’m not sure where Carlos is in this picture, but I bet he’s in there somewhere.

GOODY BAGS

I want you all to know that I am getting ready to start fixing up on the goody bags. I would like to know who all wants a goody bag and who does not. I have already heard from one person saying they didn't want a goody bag.

If you do not want a goody bag just leave a comment saying so. If you do want a goody bag, I have to admit I would like to know what you would like to have in yours.


Sherry Claus

Having a Good Day?

We all complain so often about having a bad day. Since most of us are at least approaching if not past middle age, can we still remember what a good day would look like? After discussions with several family members lately my definition has been refined.  If you haven't been to the emergency room, or the morgue, and haven't pooped your pants, you are having a good day. So any time you start to complain, stop and check your pants. If they are still clean, you are having a good day.

Luci

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Editors Note:

I think Luci has come up with a valuable tool than many readers of the StalkerClan will find very useful.  In case anyone is having trouble following her description, I put together this ‘Decision Tree’ to help explain her logic. 

Some of you may want to print out a copy of this handy tool to carry in your purse or pocket book.  I know I’m going to.

JEFFERY HEN - Roo Remembers the Feather

The following morning while all was out eating at the picking ground, Roo remembers the feather he used to measure the eggs the triplets and Crystal Fawn were inside of before they were born. Roo flew up in the tree and reached into the crack were he put the feather. He flew back down to the picking ground to show everybody how big the eggs were.

Roo said, "I remember this feather barely did reach all around that big egg. Look how big it was!" He circled the feather all around.

Everybody looked with amazement, "Oooh!!" as they all looked at its size.

He said, "This is how big the egg that Crystal Fawn was in." He put the end of the feather into the notch he made from the time. "It's exactly half the size of the big egg."  As he showed halving the feather to prove his point. Then he showed how small the real little bitty egg was. "It is a third the size of the big egg," bending the feather to show it is one third its length.

Everybody was amazed with the story.

The triplets and Crystal Fawn can only watch, they didn't quite understand what was going on yet.

One of the hens was new to the neighborhood, she wasn't around when the triplets were born. She asked, "How did the hen lay that big of an egg?"

Roo said, "That's a long story."

Friday’s Fun Foto # 11

This photo has appeared on the StalkerClan before, but just like the classic pic of Michelle with the plastic bag on her head, it needs to be brought out for everyone to enjoy now and then.

Being WILK’ed on the Radio

Luci and I were having our weekly talk and she said she liked a song she heard on the radio but didn’t know the name of the song.  She said it had "There goes the neighborhood" and "Next to nothing I was looking pretty good" running throughout the song.  We googled and searched and I finally said, "I will call the radio station and ask them."

We hung up and I called the radio station and this is the conversation that took place:

Radio man: Hello

Me: Yes, I would like to ask a question.  I am trying to find the name of a song,  it has the words ‘There goes the neighborhood’  and ‘Next to nothing I was lookin’ pretty good’ going through the song.

Radio Man: I don’t know what you’re looking for.

Me: It’s all about a man moving into the neighborhood and making his fellow neighbor husbands look bad.

Radio Man:  Mam,  I don’t know that song, this is SPORTS TALK!

Me: Thank you so much.

Jeremy and Justin had the best laugh and we called Luci and she laughed as well. I said if Jim heard that on the radio at Lowes I would hear about it. Thank goodness I never told them my name.

Michelle

Childhood Mysteries

Shawn and Jennifer had us all over for dinner during Court Days. It was a "full emersion" occasion.

Jennifer is such a kind and gentle spirit and an animal lover. They had a new puppy. Over dinner Papaw reminisced about his favorite hunting dog. It seems a friend gave it to him because it was killing all the neighbors' cats. Papaw said he didn't care if it killed cats as long as it would tree squirrels. The next morning there were three dead cats on the porch. He had to hustle to get them down to the river before anyone (particularly us) could see them. Every morning he would get up before daybreak to check the porch for dead cats and take them to the river.

Slowly but surely our childhood mysteries are being solved. We now know:

• What the funny looking balloons were,
  
• Why Sherry was so upset about loosing her "Joke book,"
  
• Where all the cats went, and
  
• Why Papaw gets up so early.

I wonder what other answerers will reveal themselves. The holidays are coming up. Lots of opportunities for dinner conversation.

Dinner was wonderful by the way. I think Jennifer's mom cooked everything.

Luci

Trash the Dress

I ran across something I thought was interesting on the Internet recently.  It seems there is an association for professional wedding photographers and they have contests to pick their best photographs in a variety of categories.  One of the categories is something called ‘Trash the Dress’.   These are staged (usually) photographs of the bride doing something that would destroy, ruin or trash her wedding dress.   Here is a past winner that caught my eye and that I really liked…

This got me to wondering… “What has happened to Jennifer’s dress?”  She was wearing it when she and Shawn drove away from the church, leaving for their honeymoon.  Has anyone seen it since?  I have this nagging feeling that something bad may have happened to it…

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SHAWN AND JENNIFER !

One year down and many more to go.

Clyde

Chris’ Birthday 2009

On Chris' birthday I thought I would tell a couple of my favorite Chris Tales. 

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Grandma came to stay with us for a few days when I had Pat. I was taking it easy when I heard a blood curdling scream come from the laundry room. I ran out there to see what had happened. Grandma was holding her breath and pointing to a dead mouse on the floor next to a pair of Chris' jeans.  She finally got out the story that she stuck her hand in the pocket of the jeans to empty it out before putting them in the washer.  She pulled out a dead mouse - hence the scream. She left no doubt that in her opinion someone deserved some serious punishment.

I yelled for Chris (almost 6 at the time). I asked, "Chris did you put a dead mouse in your pocket?"

He looked at me with that totally innocent look of his and and said, "Of course not. Why would I do that?"  Then the truth of the situation hit him and he screamed, "MY MOUSE IS DEAD. OH NO!" Both he and Grandma were inconsolable. As usual I was between a rock and a hard place.

( Chris and his mouse make me think of  THIS SONG. )

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When Pat was about 4 or 5 and Chris about 11 or 12, they invited a couple of their friends to go fishing with them.  The older boys were putting the worms on the hooks for the younger boys. As boys will do, they were competing as to which one was better at baiting hooks.  Chris' friend declared "I'm  the Master." 

Chris calmly replied, "So that makes you the Master Baiter."  I think the  poor guy still goes by that nickname.

Happy Birthday "Number One."

Love You

Mom

Luci

StalkerClan Rule Number 27

I hear that  Caitlyn recently ran afoul of a StalkerClan Rule.

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STALKERCLAN RULES

#27	Never follow too closely in the buffet line at Golden Corral. (Especially if the person in front is much taller than you.)

Rule No. 27 is closely related to one of the prime StalkerClan Rules...

#3	ALWAYS stay UPWIND of Cameron.

Maybe Jeff or Amber can give us the whole story in a comment.
Clyde

Obama Girl’s New Crush

You may remember The Obama Girl.  Her first video “I’ve Got a Crush on Obama” was popular back during the election last year.  It has been viewed over 15 million times on YouTube.  Well, she’s got a new crush and, O’ brother, I couldn’t believe who it is!   CLICK on the picture to watch her latest YouTube video.

Maybe Obama’s plan to “Share the wealth” is to get everyone in America on SSI.   Now that everyone is out of work, that could be the only option he has left.  Eric C. Conn may well be the man for that job.

Michelle insisted I post this. (Sorry)

Confusion about Camron's Cake

I swear Camron, I ordered a Sheet Cake,   S-H-E-E-T  Cake.  I don’t know how they could make a mistake like this…

Oh well, hold your nose and have a Happy Birthday big guy. Uncle Clyde ( PS  -  I haven’t gotten even yet. )

A Caleb Collage

I can’t decide which photo of Caleb would be best for his birthday post here on the StalkerClan.   But I have to post something; today is his birthday.  How do I decide?  They’re all so good.  That’s one thing you can say for sure about Caleb, he always takes a good picture. 

Hey, why not just post the whole bunch!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALEB

Tree Frogs

Jennifer just posted a picture of a tree frog on Facebook. It appears to be stuck on a window.

This would have been so exciting to my boys, and Michelle's, when they were young. It reminded me of a couple of old stories - one of which was probably reported on the Clan but the other was too long ago.

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When Chris and Pat were young, I ordered barking tree frogs. We loved them!

Their terrarium ended up in Ted's room. It turned out they only barked at night. I never actually heard them.

Somehow they managed to escape from their terrarium and out the door.

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It also reminds me of another adventure at the lake. One weekend we had two Sea-Doos to try out. Jim, Michelle and Jeremy were on one, Ted and I on another. Apparently Jim's doo-rag flew off and when he leaned over to pick it up, Michelle followed the rules of motorcycle riding and leaned with him. The Sea-Doo turned over. 

We could hear Jeremy screaming over the motor of our Sea-Doo from a mile away. I thought one of them must be seriously hurt. When we got there it turned out that Jeremy’s tree frog had gotten out of the compartment he put it in. We know Jeremy is capable of true love.

Luci

The Karaoke Kid

I have to tell you all about the class clown in my room. He is a cross between Dennis the Menace and Archie Bunker.

One day we were getting ready to eat breakfast and I said, "Now Connor, you know you can’t have a chocolate milk for breakfast."

He balled his hands into a fist, threw them down at his sides and, with the most serious look on his face, said, "A WOMAN does NOT tell a MAN what to do!"

I said, "Well when I see a man I will remember that, but you’re not getting a chocolate milk!"  He huffed off to the table and ate his cereal with white milk.

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Later that week we brought the Karaoke machine out for them to tell a joke, sing a song or tell a story. Connor walked up the microphone and said, “I want to tell a story.”  He started by saying, "I have monsters in my bedroom at night."  He described the head , the arms, the legs and the feet this monster had. It was a frightening monster.

Having the Karaoke machine going full blast it was a rather loud tale. Then, all of the sudden, he said, "And when I see that monster, I kick it’s A$$.”

I made a face and my assistant started dying laughing. I was just hoping that the principal was not in the building, because I am sure she could have heard it without any problem.

Art Linkletter had it right… Kids Say the Darndest Things.

Michelle

Sam’s Club Shopping List

Hey Jeff, it’s probably not too early to start stocking up for my and Dad’s annual visit.  Do you have a Sam’s Club down there?  If you do, they have Pinto Beans in the 50 lb bag.  It might save you some money to pay them a visit.

Who knows, we might be able to get your Christ in the Manger plant to bloom in January.

Clyde

Baywatch – Senior Edition (Revisited)

It was five years ago this week that the following story first appeared on the StalkerClan.  I think it is worth revisiting, if for no other reason than to get another glimpse of the ‘Bigguns’.

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We (Ted, Luci, Clyde and Jennie) lived an episode of Baywatch - Senior Edition this weekend. Along with Shawn and Chris we decided to take the boat out one last time for this year.  We were surprised that the water was up so high.  It seems that the rain we got from the remnants of the hurricanes that have passed through had raised the lake about 15 feet higher than it would normally be this time of year.  The water was up in the trees all around the bank.

The sail boaters were having a Regatta.  When we put in there were probably a hundred or more of them sailing around the main part of the lake.  It was a really pretty picture.

Since we stuck out like a sore thumb we headed on up the lake.  We cruised around for a while, noting that we had the rest of the lake pretty much to ourselves and the water was smooth as silk.  We tried to talk Chris and Shawn into skiing but it was a no go. The water temperature was about 50 degrees.

It started getting late and the wind started to pick up so we put up our hoods and pulled our coats around us and  headed back to the ramp to take the boat out.  Since Chris and Shawn planned to haul it home, we dropped them off on the bank (the dock was full of sailboats) and they headed up to the truck.

After a while a spot opened up at the dock and we headed for it.  The water had gotten so rough that the boat was rocking like crazy against the dock.  Before we could tie up a lady came running down and asked if we could help a couple of sailboats that had been blown over to the bank and tangled up in the trees.  It seemed we were the only boat left that had any kind of motor.  Of course David Hasselhoff and his team of hunky heroes and buxom babes headed off to the rescue.

When we got there it seemed Pamela Anderson (as we like to call her for two obvious reasons) was already on the scene and in the water, trying to single-handedly save both boats by towing them across the lake with a rope.  Since their rope was only about 20 feet long we had to get dangerously close to them to pick up the end of it.  Ted had to really maneuver the boat to keep from crashing into them and crushing their boats.

Once we got the rope, we learned that Pamela had gotten into the water thinking that she could touch the bottom and pull them out of the trees but the water was too deep.  She had not been able to get back in the boat without capsizing it and the bank was so slippery she couldn't climb out there either.  She had been in the water for over an hour.

As we hurried to rescue her, Clyde opened our gate and she tried unsuccessfully to pull herself aboard.  Clyde got hold of her arm and tried to help her but she was pretty much numb and there was no way he could lift her.

At that point in time all we could see was her two enormous flotation devices floating free in a wet T-shirt.   Some one had thrown her a life jacket but there was no way it would fit so she couldn't put it on.  It was obviously worthless as there was no way she was going to sink.

After several attempts she looked up at Clyde with a sweet but helpless expression and said, "You're going to have to grab me."

Clyde got the famous Randy expression on his face.  Realizing that there was nothing else for him to grab except those two ‘bigguns’ and of course, with Jennie standing nearby that would have been suicidal.  He had to immediately determine whether to sacrifice his own life for hers and quickly decided that his life was worth living after all.

About that time the boat rocked enough for Ted (at the wheel) to get a glimpse of the ‘bigguns’.  Forgetting all about crushing the sail boats, he knocked Luci out of the way and ran over to the side of the boat.   Thank goodness it was a pontoon boat and Luci managed to grab hold of the railing or she too would have gone overboard, without any flotation devices, natural or otherwise.

With that lecherous grin on his face Ted shouts "I'll save them, I mean you, Honey."

Pamela took one look at Ted and said, "I think I'll just stay in the water and let you tow me in."

 

 

 

 

 
Circling the parking lot, Chris and Shawn missed all the excitement. They were starting to wonder what had happened to us when they overheard someone say,"There are a bunch of old people on a pontoon boat down there ferrying sailboats back and forth."

Posted by Luci

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAT MASTERSON

Willie Ray will turn 67 this day October 5. 

I was listening to Lucille during Stalker Daze.  We were talking about bats.  She said, "I remember the posts that held up the porch tops, either at our brown house or Maw Rachael's house. I remember there was a small hole in one of them and bats would go in or out that hole.  I remember Willie Ray would take a baseball bat and hit the post and if a bat came out he would hit it with the bat."

If Willie Ray's nickname was Bat, it would be.. “Bat hits bat with bat.”

When I got back home Willie Ray came up to help pick beans. I told him about this tale. He said, "Now, you don't believe such tales as that do you?"

I said, "Yes, I do.  I believe every tale they tell on you!"

 

HAPPY 67TH BIRTHDAY UNCLE WILLIE

Sherry

The Help Line

Anyone who’s visited the StalkerClan more than once has probably thought, “Gee, the fellow who posts this stuff needs to be in therapy.” 
Well, enough of you have shared that opinion that I finally decided to seek out some professional help.  Here is what I got when I called to make an appointment:

“Thud” “Thud” “Thud” “Thud”  That’s the sound of me banging my head against the wall.  Hey, I just figured out why they put people in rubber rooms… it’s to muffle that sound.   I guess I’ll try my call again later.  Why was I calling this number?  Oh well, never mind, I better go find something to put on the StalkerClan.
Clyde

Friday’s Fun Foto #10

The group of photos Luci discovered that included pictures of the Stalker’s first Florida vacation also included this slightly older shot…

Mom is pretty sure this photo was taken on Randy and Jeff’s wedding day.  They were married in Clintwood and Mom says she stopped by to visit Mrs. Stapleton while they were there.  Mrs. Stapleton had moved into a mobile home near one of her daughters in Clintwood after the highway department bought everyone out. 

Finally A Flower

Jennie had already given up on her Christ in the Manger plant for this year.  It hadn’t shown any sign of a bloom while Mom, Luci and Michelle’s plants were keeping them up nights with multiple blossoms.   I told her she wasn’t living right, she needed to do more good works and her efforts would be rewarded.  I suggested she start by treating me much better, feeding me better, giving me fewer chores to do,  and so on.  She didn’t think that was the problem.

As it turns out she was in Richmond doing a good deed, by staying with Emerson while Erik had his surgery, when Jeffery stopped by and discovered a single little bud, hidden from view, down near the bottom on the back side of the plant.   Jennie was delighted with the news but also worried that it would open while she was away.  Well, that bud hung on there until she returned home, and it finally opened up last Thursday night. 

Her plant only had the one flower but it was a big one!  

Naturally, all this just strengthens my belief in the connection between good deeds and blossoms.  If Jennie did more good deeds, fixing me pinto beans and corn bread for instance,  I am sure her plant would have more flowers.  Think about it, Mom and Lucille are always doing good deeds for family, friends and neighbors, and their Christ in the Manger plants are always loaded with flowers. 

Now I realize my theory can’t explain the blooms on Michelle’s plant, I suspect Oliver is fertilizing it or something.  Hey, maybe it’s responding to the good deeds that Jim does.  Yeah, that’s what it’s doing.

Clyde

Luci’s Thoughts on Family

Family is not just that bunch of people who share your genes and holidays. They are not just the ones you go have dinner with; they are the ones you stay after with to help do the dishes, or come early to help clean. They are not just the ones you send a get well card or flowers; they are the ones you spend all day (and if needed  the night) in a hospital chair with, just because you don't want them to be there alone. (even though you know you won't really get any sleep and will feel terrible tomorrow.)

They are not just the ones you go fishing with; they are the ones you help fix their tractor so you can help them till their corn or mow their yard.  Maybe they can go fishing with you another time. They aren't just the ones you go to the movies with; they are the ones you move furniture with, just because their furniture needs moving, even if you moved it 6 months ago and you know your back will ache tomorrow.

They aren't just the ones you play corn hole or computer games with or build rockets or robots with; they are the ones you help build a building because their building needs to be built and you know how, or you are willing to learn and get blisters. They aren't just the ones you laugh with at the party; they are the ones you try to think of funny stories to tell when they are blue; the ones you cry with when you know a story just won't work. A smile comes to your face when you see them step into the room. An even bigger smile comes to your face when you see they are smiling. You can't be jealous or resentful of family, because you share in their success. You don't just feel sorry for family, you do what you can to make things better for them. Your life is better when theirs is better. They are not just the ones you hang out with; they are the ones you are willing to put yourself out for. The best thing about family is  -  you know they feel the same way about you.

Luci

Randy 60 Times

The Florida Gators Number One fan is turning 60 today.  I wonder what Sherry has planned for him.  Is there any chance he will be getting 60 roosters to go with Jeffery’s 50 hens?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RANDY

Happy Birthday to the Coupon Queen

Sherry called me several times this past week to ask if I could print some Rite-Aid coupons for her.  I hate not to help her if I can, so I went looking for the website where I could download them.  To make a long story short…

• after identifying, isolating and deleting two computer viruses,
  
• after spending thirty minutes filling out a survey that wanted to know all my personal information, as well as my buying habits,   
  
• After repeatedly clicking “No Thanks” to discount offers for Auto Insurance, a Platinum Credit Card, a Caribbean Cruise,  Magazine Subscriptions for only $7.00, an Amazing Teeth Whitening Secret and many others,

I was finally able to download an image of the coupon Sherry wanted.  Success at last!

I went to print out several copies and waited while my printer clicked and whirred, beeped and sputtered and finally spit out…  a blank page. After testing and troubleshooting and replacing an ink cartridge, I got a few printed.  I had them waiting for Sherry this Wednesday when she came by to drop Mom off  with me while she went ‘couponing’. 

When Sherry saw the coupons her eyes lit up and she let out a little squeal.  I don’t think she could have been happier if I had given her the keys to a new car.  A car would require insurance and gas and tires and oil changes and lots of other stuff that Sherry doesn’t want to be responsible for.  That’s a shame ‘cause buying her a new car might have been easier than printing those &@^# coupons.

I blame Lucille for much of this.  She is the one who gave Sherry so much positive feedback years ago with her famous poem, Here Comes Meaner.  Remember the verse…

“At cutting out coupons she is queen.
She doesn’t really care about making a scene.
Carts full of soap & deodorant are routine.
Mops and wet wipes are for special events,
They make especially good Christmas presents.
“Here comes Meaner,
With 25 bottles of Bathroom Cleaner.
Manager to the check out line.
The balance due has a minus sign.”

I blame Jeffery and Michelle too.  They are the biggest customers of the Meaner Mart.  They keep the inventory moving and fuel the demand for more coupons.  I know there may be a ‘Goodie Bag’ coming next Christmas but somehow I can’t help but feel like I’ve been WILK’ed by all my sisters.

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Oh, I got carried away, I nearly forgot what I wanted to say…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERRY

 

Clyde

Friday’s Fun Foto #9

One more old photo from the Stalker’s first Florida Vacation.  This one appears to be at the entrance to Silver Springs.

Another Anniversary of Amber’s Arrival

(Pardon the alliteration, I can’t help it.  It’s a bad habit I know, I just can’t seem to stop myself.)

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It’s turning into a big week for StalkerClan birthdays.  Amber is the one celebrating today.  Maybe Grandma Jeff will watch the kids so Jevon can take Amber out for a big night on the town.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMBER

De-Friended on Facebook

I have been de-friended on Facebook.  I can’t believe it!  I’m devastated!

I logged into Facebook this morning and browsed around for a few minutes.  It occurred to me, after a bit, that I hadn’t seen anything from Crystal recently.  I thought to myself, “I’ll go check her wall to see what is going on in her world.”

I clicked on the link to show my ‘friends list’ and scrolled down it looking for Crystal.  She wasn’t there.  I clicked on the link again and made sure it was showing ‘All Friends’, not just ‘Recent Friends’ or ‘Friends I Actually Like’ or something like that.   I scrolled through the list again, still no Crystal.  All I can figure is… she has de-friended me!

What have I done to deserve this?  Did I go too far with that story about Robbie’s sand-castle swamp and the Tennessee fans?  Was it the Hen Tale for her birthday?  Why would she do this to me?

I’m really going to miss seeing all the pictures Crystal posted to her account.  No more ‘Cason’s First Baseball Practice’ or ‘Cason’s First Game’.  No more pictures of all the Ratliff and McInnis families, especially the kids.  This really hurts!  It hurts worse than the Ski-Biscuit ride.  No, wait a minute,  that’s not right, it doesn’t hurt that bad.  It’s a different kind of hurt, in a different place, but not that bad.

I’m really having a hard time dealing with this rejection.  I wonder, is there a support group for people de-friended on Facebook?  Where do they meet?  Do they have a Facebook page?  Gosh, I hope they don’t use Twitter.

Clyde

A Message from Emerson

We interrupt the usual nonsense and nostalgia here on the StalkerClan for a special message from Emerson…

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Veronica is spending her birthday nursing Erik back to full strength following his surgery last week.  Having Erik standing beside her, straight and tall and pain free, might be the best birthday present she gets this year.  But then again, she gets Emerson every day and that’s pretty hard to beat.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VERONICA

Friday’s Fun Foto #8

Here is another of the photos from the Stalker’s first vacation to Florida:

I’m pretty sure that is Vance on the left.  The rock star standing in the doorway is either Jim Morrison or one of the Bee Gees, I think.

Clyde

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE

Michelle had her 20th wedding anniversary this year. I remember after the wedding we all came home and I asked Shawn whose boy is he.

He must have said, "Maw's."

I said, "Shawn? Maw gave her baby away!"

Mother said, "I did not give my baby away!"

I said, "Well, what did you do today if you didn't give her away."

Mother said, "Now, I did not give her away in the manner you said I did."

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE

Sherry

Blair’s Vacation Highlight

Randy, Jeffery, Cameron and Emily will each have their own favorite memories of the vacation to Kentucky this year.  Who knows what they will be?  I have a pretty good idea that I know what Blair’s favorite memory will be already though… he learned to ride a bicycle without training wheels on this trip to Kentucky.

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I guess you could say he learned by accident.  You see, his cousin Cameron accidentally broke the training wheels off  Blair’s bicycle.  If he was going to ride, it had to be on two wheels.

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Blair has already learned to push the bike to a running start and jump on to get going.  I think he is working on doing wheelies next.

 

Considering he is only four years old it is really something to see how well he rides.  I think at four I was still learning to ride my first tricycle.

Clyde