Next StalkerClan Book ?

I hadn't even begun to think about a new StalkerClan Book for this year yet.  Things have been so slow on the website this year that I doubt there will be enough stories.  In Jeffrey’s tale the other day about the chocolate bar she suggested a possible cover story though.  That got me to thinking and I can see something like the following showing up in the StalkerClan Bookstore someday.

I’m Ruined! The Unauthorized Biography of Randy Ratliff By Clyde Stalker

Price:  $33.30 Ships in 10–15 business days Eligible for FREE Summer Shipping on orders over $49.95 HARDCOVER Version. Our favorite stories about our favorite sweet-tooth including… Chocolate Butt at Wal-Mart The Lesson of the Four Pennies Old Number Seven The Pathfinder in the Mud Bog Make a Joyful Racket Circus Peanuts, Candy Corn, and Pop Tarts on Ice Cream Shallow Randy "Well, we won't have HIM to deal with today." How he nicknamed Cody "Tape Worm" The Hilarious Salt Water Fishing License Viag-Randy How he came to be called ‘Old Two Hands’ and many more. You’ll love these great stories from Randy and Jeff's Combination Fish Farm, Comedy Barn, Homeless Shelter, and Reform School.  If there’s one lesson you’ll take away from this fascinating  life story it’s… Never Marry a Woman With a Man’s Name.

THE PING PONG TABLE

I remember while we were enjoying our pool table, Clyde had an idea of getting a ping pong table.  Dad wouldn't agree with it cause there wasn't enough room in the basement for two game tables.
When school turned out the next day, instead of waiting in the bus line for the bus, I always went out in town and looked around in the stores.  While I was looking around in Sykes Drug Store, I noticed they had kits that read "Turn Your Pool Table Into a Ping Pong Table" on the outside of it. What a coincident!
I counted how many kits there were.  Somewhere around this time period, my sixth-grade teacher, Oma Belcher, who was also Clyde's first-grade teacher, was the cashier out there. When I got finished looking around I started back to the bus line.

When I got home and we were at the dinner table eating supper I said, "Clyde, Sykes Drug Store sells kits were you can turn a pool table into a ping pong table."
The next day when school turned out, I wanted to know if Clyde took my advice and purchased one of them. I didn't think the kits would be good sellers, cause hardly nobody had pool tables.  When I got out there I counted the kits and, sure enough, one of them was gone. I said to myself, "I am going to guess when I get home Clyde will have that pool table turned into a ping pong table.” I was right!
I remember we never had four people playing at the same time.  The kit came with four paddles.  I got one of them and took it up into the house and used it to play a paddle game with Michelle.  I have to admit, seems like she got just as much enjoyment out of me playing paddle with her as the enjoyment we got out of the ping pong table.

Sherry

Emily Lou’s Sixth Birthday

( I can’t believe it has been six years already since this story was posted on the Old StalkerClan. )

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Here are the photo's everyone has been waiting on......

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Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

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In the most recent photo I can find of her, it looks like she has grown a little…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY LOU

THE POOL TABLE

I remember back when we were growing up, Dad purchased a used pool table.  We kept it in the basement. 

The only funny thing I can remember about it was when I was playing a game with Joe.

While we were playing, the score was tied.  I had two balls in and Joe had two balls.  It was my turn and I shot and got another ball in the pocket.  I said, "Now, Joe, I am ahead of you by one."

Joe said, "Yeah, half of your hits were hit accidentally."

The next shot I got two in and Joe said in an excited voice, "Hey, I know that was an accident cause it would have taken an expert to figure that out!"

Sherry

Increasing My Inheritance

My share of the Stalker Family Inheritance got a boost this week.  Thank goodness because my 401k won’t cover the cost of a pair of 501 jeans anymore.

I went with Mom, Dad and Carlos on their annual cemetery rounds.  We went to the Wilson Cemetery and put flowers on Aunt Virgie, Maggie and Homer’s graves.   We ran out of gas in the Weed-eater so a return trip will be needed. 

We drove by Dow Brooks next and put a new flag at Uncle Joe’s headstone.  While we were doing that Mom noticed that there were some flowers in Dad’s end of their headstone, but none in her end.  That tore her up.

“Who could have done such a thing?  You didn’t do that did you?” she asked me.

“No Mom.  You know I would make sure there was flowers on your side, and prettier flowers too.”

She thought for a minute and then said, “Must have been one of those concubines of his.”

About that time I got an idea.  I bent over the flowers, pushed them around a little bit and, fibbing just a bit more, said to Mom, “Hey, there’s a tag here.  It says, ‘From Your Four Loving Daughters.”

My share of the inheritance doubled, right there on the spot.  I figure that new motorized wheel chair will probably get me the rest of it.

Clyde