WILKed by the Computer

I am at Crystal’s place today, taking care of Cason. He has been sick with a bad cough and needed to be out of school one more day.

When I arrived, I ask Crystal to run over all the ins and outs of working her computer. I told her that if I had time, I wanted to write up a few clan stories. She showed me her top of the line work computer and I just sat and watched her breeze through several different programs and things I can only imagine doing. It was awesome! She then proceeded to take me over to the home computer and show me how to do all the things I needed to know to write and send stories to Clyde. Seems easy enough. About the time she finished with her lesson, Cason woke up and walked into the room. He was excited to see me. Not as excited as he gets when he sees Granddad, but excited enough. After a very brief hug, he jumped into the seat I had been sitting in at the home computer. He asked, “Mom, can I play Toon’s Town now? Please Mom?”

She agreed and I watched as he maneuvered the mouse to just the right spot and clicked it to get started. He was a real pro. He had logged on and was playing his game within 15 seconds. As I watched all of this I realized that he would be on that computer all day. My Clan stories would just have to wait. Crystal must have read my mind and said, “Here Mom, you can use this computer.”

She took just a few seconds to show me what to do. I shook my head as though I understood everything she had just shown me. I would have been totally embarrassed to have her show me twice with Cason in the room. The shame would have been too great!

Crystal rushed to get ready for her appointments. As she hurried out the door she told me to make sure Cason ate breakfast and took his medicine. I went to work making Cason’s breakfast. Pancakes were the only thing on the menu. I, of course being the health conscious granny that I am, put more egg in that pancake than mix. When I was finished, I called Cason to come down stairs to eat his breakfast. He hollowed something back at me. I could not understand what he was saying. So I just keep calling him to come down. Finally, after about five screams to come down, I heard him scream back to me. “GRANDMA, I HAVE TO SIGN OFF OF TOONS TOWN. OKAY?”

How could I have not known that? Some things are just too important to leave for later. He may look like Crystal, but he is a lot like his Dad.

After breakfast, we played cards. Someone made up all the rules as we went. Looked at his card before lying it down and even slipping a few under the table when he thought I wasn’t looking. Never the less, I beat his butt. I was the winner! He was not happy about that at all. He had to race me everywhere we went. Of course he beat me. Stairs are not my best racing grounds. Crystal, if you are reading this part, for my sake, just think I was embellishing a little. Okay?

After being beat so many times, I asked Cason if he would like to play on his computer while I played on his mom’s. He agreed that that was a great idea. Up those stairs we went. Two happy computer nuts ready to play long and hard on their computers. He sat down and logged on and was playing his game within 10 seconds. I sat down at Crystal’s top of the line, two giant screened computer and hoped I would not mess anything up. I gently put my hand on the mouse and moved it to get the screen to come on.

It said in large print. THIS COMPUTER HAS BEEN LOCKED BY CRYSTAL MCINNIS.

AUGH!!!

WILKED BY MY OWN DAUGHTER!!!

I sat there for what seemed like 30 minutes just staring at the message. This cannot be happening. I had big stories to write. I looked over at the only computer that would allow me to write my stories. Cason was standing in his seat shouting to the top of his lungs. “I am going to kill you! You bad monster!”

He was not going to budge one bit. I was wilked and that was all there was to it. As I sat there looking at this LOCKED mega computer, I could only dream about how nice it must be to use. I looked down and saw that Crystal had left me a sticky note with her blackberry number on it. I thought. “How nice.” She had already told me that she would be turning off her phones while in her meetings. I would just have to wait for her to call. Then I looked a little harder. Under the yellow sticky was a blue sticky. All I could see was: User and PW. Could this really be what I thought it was? YES! YES! I now had the password and would be able to log on. It took Cason 10 seconds, Grandma 30 minutes. But I was now on my way. About this time, Crystal calls. She laughs about the situation and we hang up. I logon on and think I am now on my way. NOT! A very large message pops up on the very large screen.

YOU HAVE AN APPOINT MENT WITH SO AND SO. YOU ARE TWO HOURS LATE.

AUGH!  WILKED AGAIN BY A COMPUTER. WHEN WILL THIS ALL STOP?

I call Crystal’s cell phone. It goes straight to her voicemail. I leave a very frantic message about her being two hours late for something. She calls me back and tells me that her computer just lets her know when she has an appointment. Just click it off she says. No big deal.

By this time I am exhausted from being wilked too many times in a one hour period. And Cason is ready to do something else. Go figure.

Jeff