Monday, June 8, 2009

More Stalker Wisdom

I went to a garden show in Lexington on Saturday with friends. We were allowed to tour several elaborate gardens in the back yards of some very nice homes. I wrote down the names of a few plants that were impressive. One of the flowers I listed in my notes was Beard Tongue. It was a tall plant with masses of tiny lavender bell shaped blooms at the top. Amazingly when I turned up Road Creek on Sunday, there it was growing on the hillside for about a mile. I couldn’t resist digging some up. It was like a special gift from God. Sometimes you really have to be looking for them.



I had a very nice visit with Mom, Dad, Sherry & Carlos. Mom came back home with me on Wednesday. That afternoon, we shopped at all the little stores that sell Penney’s damaged goods and then went to Big Lots. When we got home, Dad called to tell me that Jennie was maybe going to come with Clyde and him to get Mom so they probably wouldn’t be there until Saturday. I thought, “Great that will give me plenty of time to put away all the stuff I brought home from the Meaner Mart and go to the grocery to get food for Dad and Clyde.” Exhausted I went to bed.

Thursday Mom and I got up early and headed to Lexington. We went to Lowe’s to get Dad’s Father’s Day present and look for seeds, then headed to the shoe stores. Mom tried on shoe after shoe.

At lunch time, we drove around and around trying to find a place that sounded good to Grandma and would cost under $10 bucks. She didn’t want to have the same old thing she usually had but when I asked what she was in the mood for Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Mongolian, Subway, Seafood, on – on – on nothing sounded good. She wanted home cooked food. When I suggested Cracker Barrel as the only place I knew of for home style food, she said they were much tooooo expensive. The only thing she didn’t rule out was a hamburger. I asked if she liked the kind of hamburgers that taste smoky. She said “Yes.” I pulled into the Steak and Shake even though it’s not one of my favorite places to eat. When the waitress came to take our order, she ordered the Fish Sandwich special and I ordered a salad. Both turned out to be horrible and by the time we left a tip our total cost went over the $10 price limit. Mom said, “We should have gone to Wendy’s.”

The hunt for shoes continued. Just when I had given up on ever finding anything to suit her we hit the jackpot at GB Shoes and she bought five pairs. Even though it looked the same as all the others to me, she declared that it was the only decent shoe store in Lexington.



On the way home Mom asked what we were going to have for dinner. Exhausted again, I said that we would stop at Cracker Barrel. She insisted that she could cook dinner. I couldn’t face the embarrassment of her telling everyone in Pike County that she had to cook dinner and insisted that even if I had to take out a loan to pay for it we were stopping at Cracker Barrel for a home cooked meal. Mom ordered soup beans and greens. They were both full of ham. She tried to pick it out but complained through the whole meal about having to eat hog meat and finally said “We should have gone to Wendy’s.”

(Lessons learned - The only two places to eat out are the Senior Center and Wendy’s. You might as well forget about anything else. Don’t think that you can outshop Grandma. She can still run me into the ground and still be ready to cook dinner.)


I was exhausted when we got home and climbed into the tub to soak for a while. Just as my butt hit the water the phone rang. It was Clyde, they were on the by-pass, would be here in 5 min. and Dad wanted to know if dinner was ready. I told them that I knew it was ready at Cracker Barrel because Mom and I had just left there. Dad said “No way Cracker Barrel is toooooo expensive.” I climbed out of the tub and took a look in the frig to see what I could fix the guys for dinner. They ended up with egg sandwiches.

The next morning I fixed breakfast. Dad gave me $50 to buy groceries. He and Clyde headed out to fish. Mom and I did the dishes, got ready and went to Wal-Mart. We got home at about 10:00 am and as I was unloading the groceries the phone rang, “Is dinner ready?” He got another egg sandwich.

(Lesson learned – Egg sandwiches can get expensive. I can just hear him telling everyone at the center that he gave me $50 and got egg sandwiches.)

 



Sometime during the visit, Dad and I were talking. He amazed me with his memory of the date he acquired each gun he owns and his detailed accounts of each and every squirrel he shot with each one. After he had talked for a while I asked if he remembered my birthday and he said, “Are you kidding? Gert keeps up with that stuff.”

With some coaxing and a few hints he was able to remember that Clyde was born in 1949 and Jeff was born on Christmas Day but beyond that he drew a blank.

(Lesson learned – Don’t clutter your mind with insignificant details, just remember the important stuff.)

 



Later I was given the benefit of some more of the wisdom Dad has acquired in his 84 years, “In the Bible it says ‘Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can eat today.’”

Luci

9 comments:

Clyde said...

Mining Stalker Wisdom

I thought about breaking up Luci's story into parts and running it over several days. It could easily have been divided into four or five short(er) stories. But Stalker wisdom doesn't come in neatly wrapped little packages. There are no measured doses.

Stalker Wisdom may come a little at a time. It is rare for sure. But it also must be filtered from the flood of sensory input that accompanies its purveyors (Mom and Dad). Lessons in Stalker Wisdom are like attending philosophy class in a video arcade. You can't be distracted by the sound of Fox News blaring in the background.

I like to think finding real Stalker Wisdom is like panning for gold. You have to shovel tons of "Bring me a cup of coffee," to get to the rich deposits. You have to wash away a lot of "Honey, could you eat some green beans?" before you see that glitter in the bottom of the pan. Mining for Stalker Wisdom is not an easy job.

I concluded breaking up Luci's story would not have conveyed the true experience that is seeking Stalker Wisdom.

Anonymous said...

Man oh man, it will be hard to follow that comment. And yes, Stalker wisdom is a rare, but very special part of our adult lives. We didn't get to hear a lot of it when we were growing up (we probably would not have listend back then anyway) but he sure has shared it with us as adults. I am very thankful for that. Luci that is one great story. I have already had my dose of laughter for the day.

Anonymous said...

Great story Luci. Wish I could have been there for Cracker Barrel.
Do they have cream horns there? OH yeah they have pecan logs. Just as good!

Anonymous said...

Aunt Luci, I want you to take me shopping like you did Mamaw. I love shoes too.

Blair said...

Aunt Luci, I want to go fishing with Papa. Will you fix me an egg sandwich to. Papa will pay you $50. for me and him a sandwich. I love to fish and eat. I must have some Stalker Blood in me to.

Jeff said...

Please keep eveyone out of the Meaner Mart. I will be coming up sometime this year and I don't want the Meaner Mart damaged goods. They leak on the way home.

Luci said...

You have to remember to bring along a plastic container for the potentially leaky items. There is a nack to shopping at the Meaner Mart.

Jeff said...

I have a 22 foot flat bed trailor. How is that for meaner mart shopping. I do believe the whole Meaner Mart will fit on it. No need for containers.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget Shawn's birthday, June 19. He's 29.