A Defining Birthday

During one of my recent fishing trips with Dad to Florida, Cameron came over to spend some time with us.

I recall about midday I was sitting in a folding chair at the edge of the lake, watching my fishing line, when Cameron walked up beside me. I saw him check to see which way the wind was blowing and then move around to get upwind of me. I was thinking maybe I had been fishing too long and the smell of shiners and seaweed was grossing him out. But then I heard...

RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPP !!!

Gosh, you talk about GROSS! It was eye-watering, paint-peeling, nose-burning, stomach-turning, 'Get-me-outta-here', make a skunk vomit TERRIBLE. I saw fish scampering to the other side of the lake, a few jumped out on the far shore. It was AWFUL, a real amplified anal auditory accomplishment!

I told him then that I would get even but he just laughed. Well, payback starts today. I've got a special birthday present in the works. I've been in touch with the MERRIAM-WEBSTER SCHOOL DICTIONARY people and their next edition will contain the following ...

Now I need to get in touch with the State Board of Education in Tallahassee to make sure it is made available to every grade school in Florida. That will be a good start at getting even.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMERON !

Birthday in Detention?

The new poster boy for school detention is having a birthday today...

I wonder if he will have to eat birthday cake at the 'Special Table'. Gosh, I hope he doesn't miss his birthday party because he is stuck in detention again. I bet he doesn't.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALEB !

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I'm a UOG

This is a conversation I had with Jennie recently...

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Me:          Hey, I was reading this article in the paper and it turns out I'm a UOG.

Jennie: You're a  'You-Oh-Gee".  What is the world is that?  Wait a minute, let me guess,
                    I bet it stands for Ugly Old Geek.

Me:          No, and I resemble that remark.  I'll give you a hint, Ted Potter is a UOG too.

Jennie:  Oh, it must be a club.  Useless Ornery Geezers maybe?

Me:           No, No, No!  One last hint, it has to do with Shawn and Jennifer's wedding.

Jennie:  Well then, it must mean Unwelcome Obscene Guest.   Is that right?

Me:           That might be true but that isn't what I meant.  I'm an Uncle of the Groom
                    a UOG.

---

I had to show her the article that talked about weddings and how the Mother of the Bride is referred to as the MOB. 

Since Sherry is the Mother of the Groom, I guess that makes her the MOG.   Carlos would be a Brother of the Groom, a BOG. 

Hey, Chris and Pat are  Cousins of the Groom so they would be COGs, you know, cogs like gears.    Gee, I guess that means Jennifer's cousins would be COBs, like corn...uhhh, nevermind.

This wedding is going to be fun.  I can feel it already.

Clyde

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FACT CHECKER:
Like the political coverage on TV a little fact checking on the above story reveals:

Did the conversation quoted above actually occur?	NO -   If it had Jennie's guesses would have been much more colorful.  They would have included some combination of words like Unclean, Unwashed, Unsanitary, Uncivilized, Uncouth, Odorous, Over-Eating, Glutton,  and GiantPainInTheButt.
Was there really a newspaper article that referred to the Mother of the Bride as the MOB?	YES - That is the one grain of truth in the entire story.
Is this nonsense a sign that Clyde is out of stories to post again?	YES - When you all don't provide me with stories my mind wanders and nonsense like this is what results.  You need to send me something soon.  I would appreciate it.  Shawn and Jennifer might appreciate it more.

Walkin' on Water

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...

Modesty prevents me from saying any more.  - Clyde