Not My Proudest Moment

Uncle Clyde, -  I was trying to think of a fitting name for this story and the only phrase that keeps coming to mind is......."Not my Proudest Moment"

So let me start this story by explaining that  I just got over one of the worst cases of the stomach-flu that I have ever had.  It really kicked my butt for about 3 days.  It left me really dehydrated and weak even days later.  My friend AlvaGayle kept the kids for me for 2 days while Jevon tended to me. (By the way he was great!) 

Anyway, when Jevon went back to work and I got the kids back, it is an understatement to say that I did not feel well.  And Caitlyn was in full whine, scream, cry, pout mode when I took back over on my first day as "Mom".  I was in no mood to deal with her tantrums.  She is usually very calm and pleasant, but not that day. 

I called Mom and referred to Caitlyn as Medusa's Spawn as I vented my frustrations.  Mom told me I should be patient and try to remember that my being sick was probably rough on Caitlyn.  "You're right," I said.  And I couldn't help but think back to the great parenting book, "How to behave so your children will, too!"  It talked about being patient and ignoring some bad behavior and focusing on the positive.  I did try.  But man was she showing her little butt that day. 

Mom suggested I have lunch with her and Grandma in town.  That sounded great since I had to go to town for groceries anyway.  When we left lunch, Mom took Caitlyn so I could do my shopping in peace.  What a blessing! 

After I was done Mom met me and I got Caitlyn back.  She immediately reverted back to Medusa's Spawn.  Her hair turned to snakes and they all screamed and hissed at me at once.  But I kept it together and I stayed calm.  I was doing good.  I was actually proud of myself. 

I only had one more stop to make and then we could go home.  Jevon wanted me to pick up a movie from Blockbuster.  Seemed simple enough.  So Caitlyn and I ran into Blockbuster.  I found the movie with no problem and headed for the check-out.  I sat Caitlyn on the counter as I dug in my pocket and found the last of my cash; a crisp new 10 dollar bill.  The cashier scanned my card and was making small talk with me when I vaguely remember Caitlyn saying, "Hey, thanks!  You found my money grandma gave me," as she took my $10. 

When the cashier rang up the movie he gave me the total and that is when I realized that I no longer had my money.   I checked my pockets in vain and then I remembered that Caitlyn had my money.  So I asked her for it,  "Can mommy have her money, please.  I need to pay for this movie." 

That's when she cupped both her hands over her teensy-tiny midget sweater pocket and furrowed her face and all the snakes in her hair screamed, "NO!  This is my money!" 

Now this is where the story reaches a critical point.  You see, I had a few really mature ways to approach the problem, and under normal circumstances I promise you I would have.  But this was no ordinary day.  Nope.  This camel had had enough and that $10 had just broken my back.

So I went for that tinker-bell sized pocket on her sweater and said, "Give me that MONEY!!"  I pried at her hands with one hand and made finger-tweezers with my other hand as I tried to pry that money out of her insanely small Barbie pocket. 

She screamed, "No, you can't have my money, Mom!  Never!  Never!  Grandma gave it to me!"

Now any rational thinking person would have realized that Grandma had given her some money and maybe if I found it she would realize that she had mine.  But, no.  I was in full blown 3-year old tantrum mode right there with her.  About that time the money somehow made it's way out of the pocket.  I crouched into a football stance, never taking my eyes off that bill.  Caitlyn tossed the $10 behind her back and then from hand to hand.  It was actually quite impressive.  It looked like a basketball move. 

I swayed from left to right still crouching and never talking my eyes off the prize.  The whole time Caitlyn's screaming at the top of her lungs, "You can't have my money, MOM!  NO! NO!"  Then she balled the bill up in her small but surprisingly strong fist and then wrapped her other fist around that one.  It was almost too much for me. 

Somewhere from the depths of the Blockbuster abyss I could hear the author of that parenting book, "What are you doing?  This wasn't in the book.  I am so disappointed."   But I didn't listen.  I managed to pry her outside fist free and then I pried one finger at a time until I caught a glimpse of my $10.  I snatched it with the speed of a cobra!  "AHA!"  I screamed.  I threw the money at the cashier and screamed, "There!" at him. 

His eyes were wide and he said quietly, "Wow!  She really wanted that $10." 

It was then that the embarrassment of what had just happened started to soak in.  "It really was my money," I pleaded.

He raised his eyebrows and threw up his hands like, "Yeah, OK.  Whatever you say Crazy Lady!" 

Caitlyn was sobbing uncontrollably, "MY MONEY!!"  It was only then that I thought to look in her pants pocket... out came a crisp new one dollar bill.  I looked at her and she looked at me.  "Hey, there's my money from Grandma!" she squealed.

Like I said... Not my proudest moment!

Amber