Friday, February 1, 2008

Yes I Am Oot Stalkers Daughter

I have never had a doubt about being Oot Stalker's daughter, this week my inner Daddy was tapped.

I was asleep in the bed one night about 1:30AM and I heard  'Bark, Bark, Bark'.  I laid there a second and thought, 'He will shut up in a second.' 

I laid there for about five minutes listening to  'Bark, Bark, Bark'. I knocked on the window and thought it would shut him  up.  It did, for about two minutes. 

After that,  'Bark, Bark, Bark'.  I knocked again about three more times.  I knocked on the window for almost 20 minutes.  Jim said he could hear me but it sounded like the surround sound woofer so he didn't pay any attention. 

I rolled up the window in the bedroom and hollered, "SHUT THE HELL UP!"  I knew then that the true Papaw in me was ready to rear its ugly head. The dog shut up and I was almost asleep when I heard,  'Bark, Bark, Bark'

I had enough! I jumped out of the bed, walked down the hall, down the stair and to the basement door.  I ripped open the basement door and for three minutes or more I  let that dog have the most awfullest, ugliest talk that could have been inflicted  on anyone.  ( $%^$%!^&** !^#^)  I really doubt that Daddy would have strung together all the obscenities I said, and the way I strung them together...I was a master!  I was mad and that dog knew it. 

I am sure that dog was out of ear shot 30 seconds after I started my rant.  After the ( $%^$%!^&** !^#^) was over I said, 'I WILL PUT YOU IN MY CAR AND TAKE YOUR $%!^ &**  TO JACKSON COUNTY!'

When I came to my senses and turned around, Jim was standing behind me and he was like 'What is wrong, What is wrong?'

I turned my vocal assault from the dog that was keeping me from sleeping to Jim who was standing behind me with a stunned look on his face.  After about a minute of ( $%^$%!^&** !^#^) he threw up his hands and said, "Hold it! I just wanted to know what was wrong."

I huffed off back upstairs and went to bed.  Jim said he stayed near the door so he could keep the dog from barking.  He probably thought that if I came back down stairs and being in the Papaw frame of mind, I would be carrying a gun.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't think any of us ever had any doubt about you being Oot Stalker's daughter. When I look in the mirror these days I can't doubt my own DNA either.

Anonymous said...

Yelp, you sure are a chip off the old block. I know I am too. Randy is always telling me that the things i say are something dad would say.
Jeff