Happy Birthday to the Coupon Queen

Sherry called me several times this past week to ask if I could print some Rite-Aid coupons for her.  I hate not to help her if I can, so I went looking for the website where I could download them.  To make a long story short…

• after identifying, isolating and deleting two computer viruses,
  
• after spending thirty minutes filling out a survey that wanted to know all my personal information, as well as my buying habits,   
  
• After repeatedly clicking “No Thanks” to discount offers for Auto Insurance, a Platinum Credit Card, a Caribbean Cruise,  Magazine Subscriptions for only $7.00, an Amazing Teeth Whitening Secret and many others,

I was finally able to download an image of the coupon Sherry wanted.  Success at last!

I went to print out several copies and waited while my printer clicked and whirred, beeped and sputtered and finally spit out…  a blank page. After testing and troubleshooting and replacing an ink cartridge, I got a few printed.  I had them waiting for Sherry this Wednesday when she came by to drop Mom off  with me while she went ‘couponing’. 

When Sherry saw the coupons her eyes lit up and she let out a little squeal.  I don’t think she could have been happier if I had given her the keys to a new car.  A car would require insurance and gas and tires and oil changes and lots of other stuff that Sherry doesn’t want to be responsible for.  That’s a shame ‘cause buying her a new car might have been easier than printing those &@^# coupons.

I blame Lucille for much of this.  She is the one who gave Sherry so much positive feedback years ago with her famous poem, Here Comes Meaner.  Remember the verse…

“At cutting out coupons she is queen.
She doesn’t really care about making a scene.
Carts full of soap & deodorant are routine.
Mops and wet wipes are for special events,
They make especially good Christmas presents.
“Here comes Meaner,
With 25 bottles of Bathroom Cleaner.
Manager to the check out line.
The balance due has a minus sign.”

I blame Jeffery and Michelle too.  They are the biggest customers of the Meaner Mart.  They keep the inventory moving and fuel the demand for more coupons.  I know there may be a ‘Goodie Bag’ coming next Christmas but somehow I can’t help but feel like I’ve been WILK’ed by all my sisters.

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Oh, I got carried away, I nearly forgot what I wanted to say…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERRY

 

Clyde