Baywatch – Senior Edition (Revisited)

It was five years ago this week that the following story first appeared on the StalkerClan.  I think it is worth revisiting, if for no other reason than to get another glimpse of the ‘Bigguns’.

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We (Ted, Luci, Clyde and Jennie) lived an episode of Baywatch - Senior Edition this weekend. Along with Shawn and Chris we decided to take the boat out one last time for this year.  We were surprised that the water was up so high.  It seems that the rain we got from the remnants of the hurricanes that have passed through had raised the lake about 15 feet higher than it would normally be this time of year.  The water was up in the trees all around the bank.

The sail boaters were having a Regatta.  When we put in there were probably a hundred or more of them sailing around the main part of the lake.  It was a really pretty picture.

Since we stuck out like a sore thumb we headed on up the lake.  We cruised around for a while, noting that we had the rest of the lake pretty much to ourselves and the water was smooth as silk.  We tried to talk Chris and Shawn into skiing but it was a no go. The water temperature was about 50 degrees.

It started getting late and the wind started to pick up so we put up our hoods and pulled our coats around us and  headed back to the ramp to take the boat out.  Since Chris and Shawn planned to haul it home, we dropped them off on the bank (the dock was full of sailboats) and they headed up to the truck.

After a while a spot opened up at the dock and we headed for it.  The water had gotten so rough that the boat was rocking like crazy against the dock.  Before we could tie up a lady came running down and asked if we could help a couple of sailboats that had been blown over to the bank and tangled up in the trees.  It seemed we were the only boat left that had any kind of motor.  Of course David Hasselhoff and his team of hunky heroes and buxom babes headed off to the rescue.

When we got there it seemed Pamela Anderson (as we like to call her for two obvious reasons) was already on the scene and in the water, trying to single-handedly save both boats by towing them across the lake with a rope.  Since their rope was only about 20 feet long we had to get dangerously close to them to pick up the end of it.  Ted had to really maneuver the boat to keep from crashing into them and crushing their boats.

Once we got the rope, we learned that Pamela had gotten into the water thinking that she could touch the bottom and pull them out of the trees but the water was too deep.  She had not been able to get back in the boat without capsizing it and the bank was so slippery she couldn't climb out there either.  She had been in the water for over an hour.

As we hurried to rescue her, Clyde opened our gate and she tried unsuccessfully to pull herself aboard.  Clyde got hold of her arm and tried to help her but she was pretty much numb and there was no way he could lift her.

At that point in time all we could see was her two enormous flotation devices floating free in a wet T-shirt.   Some one had thrown her a life jacket but there was no way it would fit so she couldn't put it on.  It was obviously worthless as there was no way she was going to sink.

After several attempts she looked up at Clyde with a sweet but helpless expression and said, "You're going to have to grab me."

Clyde got the famous Randy expression on his face.  Realizing that there was nothing else for him to grab except those two ‘bigguns’ and of course, with Jennie standing nearby that would have been suicidal.  He had to immediately determine whether to sacrifice his own life for hers and quickly decided that his life was worth living after all.

About that time the boat rocked enough for Ted (at the wheel) to get a glimpse of the ‘bigguns’.  Forgetting all about crushing the sail boats, he knocked Luci out of the way and ran over to the side of the boat.   Thank goodness it was a pontoon boat and Luci managed to grab hold of the railing or she too would have gone overboard, without any flotation devices, natural or otherwise.

With that lecherous grin on his face Ted shouts "I'll save them, I mean you, Honey."

Pamela took one look at Ted and said, "I think I'll just stay in the water and let you tow me in."

 

 

 

 

 
Circling the parking lot, Chris and Shawn missed all the excitement. They were starting to wonder what had happened to us when they overheard someone say,"There are a bunch of old people on a pontoon boat down there ferrying sailboats back and forth."

Posted by Luci