Gosh, what a weekend! Thank goodness it's finally over. Jennie ran me all over central Kentucky and made me miss the Florida - Kentucky football game too.
We got an early start on the weekend by going to Mount Sterling on Friday evening. I found out why the next morning. Jennie needed ALL of Saturday morning to give Luci and Sherry their 'Extreme Makeovers' so they would be presentable at Shawn and Jennifer's wedding.
If you need a good fright for Halloween, Luci and Sherry, without makeup, at eight o'clock in the morning, are scarier than any pair of angry 250 pound linebackers.
Needless to say, I missed the entire pre-game show. I did catch the kickoff as we drove over to pick up Bryan and Matt and make our way to the Wilmore Presbyterian Church. Wilmore is a pretty little town, home to Asbury College and the Asbury Theological Seminary. I wonder if the seminary has a football team? The Asbury Alterboys, perhaps? Maybe Kentucky should schedule them next year instead of the Florida Gators.
When we got to the church the Cats were already down 7 - 0. There was a young fellow in the church playing some of that high fahlootin' fiddle music. It was sad and kinda mournful music. Strange how it seemed to set the mood for the football game.
I recognized one song the fiddler played, it was 'Shenandoah.' About the time that tune began, Bryan and Matt reported that Florida had blocked another Kentucky punt and had the ball on our one yard line. Tears welled up in my eyes, I told everyone it was the music.
After that it was just sad song, Florida touchdown, sad song, Florida touchdown, over and over. I think it was 35 - 3 at halftime when the wedding ceremony finally began.
I probably should have paid more attention to the ceremony but it was so hard to watch. Shawn stood up there doing his best to keep his knees from knocking. He looked to me like a lonely Kentucky punt returner, standing at his own five yard line, with eleven huge Florida tacklers bearing down on him. And it was all playing out to the tune of 'Here Comes the Bride'. It was a sad sight. I had to close my eyes for just a second or two.
I felt Jennie nudge me with her elbow, a little harder than necessary I might add. I opened my eyes to see Jennifer and Shawn kissing. It must have been a really short ceremony! But Jennifer and Shawn stood up there kissing for what seemed like a long, long time. I thought they were going to separate once but they just locked lips again and kept going. Cameras were clicking and Jennifer's Dad was kinda shuffling back and forth from one foot to the other. It was about to get uncomfortable when they finally broke apart and came up for air.
Some fellow said, "I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Shawn David Coffey," and it was over. Shawn and Jennifer walked down the aisle toward the church entrance. After they passed our pew I turned to Bryan and whispered, "What's the score?" When I heard his answer I had to explain to a lady in the row behind us, "I always cry at weddings."
Seeing all those pumpkins going to waste was sad too. A lot of them were small, because of the drought this year I guess. Even so, I just couldn't help but think of all the pumpkin pies they could have made... and pumpkin roll, too... and pumpkin bread. I had to wipe my eyes again.
But I know, the saddest thing I saw during the whole shindig was poor Shawn having to do the 'New Husband Dance'. The best I can figure, it must be a new wedding ritual. I have never seen the dance before, but every husband knows the feeling. The groom has to do this dance. It requires that he follow all the orders he is given. Meanwhile the bride dances around doing whatever she likes and all her young, attractive, single female friends surround the groom to see if he can be distracted. It's some sort of training for married life, I am sure of it.
The fellow singing the song will say something like, "Right foot out, left foot out, Cha-cha, Jump three times." This goes on and on for twenty or thirty minutes. But every verse, the directions change, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Just like in marriage, the poor husband doesn't know what to expect, all he can do is follow orders, and dance.
I caught a little of it on video but I must warn you, the only thing sadder that I have seen is the tape delay broadcast of the Florida - Kentucky game and that ended 63 - 5.
Kentucky had the 5.
Clyde
2 comments:
Sherry and I would not have made it if it weren't for Jennie. She worked wonders on both of us. The dance looked like a cross between rap and square dancing to me. I just wish I had the energy and coordination to do it. It really looked like fun. I was impressed that Matt and Brian both showed up. I was afraid that attendance would be low because of the ball game but the church was full. Shawn and Jennifer should really feel loved by their friends and family.
Advanced Training
Here is a much longer version of the New Husband Training Dance.
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