This news flash just came across Kentucky.com...
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UK-Florida to start at 12:30 PM |
The game had been scheduled to start at 2:30 pm, the same time as the wedding. This change presents a real opportunity. With just a little tweaking of the wedding schedule a lot of true blue fans could be accommodated.
I'm thinking we should be able to squeeze the wedding in during halftime of the football game. Here's what I'm suggesting...
- First we need to do away with all that ushering stuff. Give everybody tickets like at the game and let everyone shove and fight and push to make their way to their seats.
- When the whistle blows to signal the end of the first half of the football game, the organist could start playing "Here Comes the Bride".
- The preacher should wear a striped shirt. He and Shawn and Jennifer could huddle up at the front of the church.
- The preacher could call the play, "Shawn, do you take Jennifer to be your soul mate and quarterback for as long as you shall live?" "Yes." "Jennifer, do you take Shawn to be your soul mate and middle linebacker until that final whistle blows?" "Is it too late to change my mind? Well, yes then."
- They could break the huddle and line up facing the crowd. The preacher could hit the switch on his belt to key his microphone and announce, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. Play Ball!"
- The crowd would all yell, "TOUCHDOWN" and we could run out to watch the second half of the game.
I think we can pull this off. Is everybody with me?
Clyde
4 comments:
I don't think it's going to be a game any Kentucky fan would want to watch.
You're Not Helping!
Bryan, you're not helping me son! I'm trying to minimize the suffering that many in the StalkerClan will have to endure because of this wedding and you are not helping.
Have you forgotten what weddings are like? You sit there, usually in an uncomfortable seat, for what seems like hours and hours. You are dressed up in a suit even though it may be unbearably hot in the chapel. You have to wear a tie, cutting off circulation to your brain.
You have to be on your best behavior, no scratching, no burping, no nose picking, and certainly no farting. (HINT: If you absolutely can't help it and have to fart, squeeze it out slowly and quietly, then look all round you, sniffing, like you are trying to figure out who let it.)
But the worst part of all weddings has to be the music. As appropriate as it might be, you won't hear Queen's 'Another One Bites the Dust', like you might at a ballgame. No, you have to sit there through an endless series of songs by Celene Dion, Barbara Striesand, Barry Manilow and Kenny G. When Barbara cuts loose on 'The Way We Were' you're sitting there wondering what's 'The Way Outta Here'.
Have a little pity on your old man, Bryan. Help me pull this Halftime Wedding thing off and we might take you back to Florida fishing again.
You really have Jims attention. Will the reception be held at the refreshment stand? Is Shawn giving free beers to all??
You took my comments the wrong way. I'll bring my tailgate setup if you can pull it off. There is only so many hours in a year devoted to UK basketball and football. Wouldn't a sunny Saturday in June work? Did somebody say free beer?
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